


You Will Be Found

by TheKidFromYesterday



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: AU, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, But it's pretty much just mentioned, Did I say angst?, Family Drama, Fluff, Foster Care, Grieving eventually, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/referenced Otayuri at the end, Lots of Secrets, M/M, Minor Character Death, Not Canon Compliant, Podium Family, Skating Instructor!Yuuri, Tags to be added, Victor Nikiforov-centric, Victor is so gone for Yuuri, Yurio's foul language, Yuuri is passionate about the Farmer's Market, but it's not mentioned often, dealing with death, lots of coffee consumption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2018-12-23 18:05:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 31,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11995131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheKidFromYesterday/pseuds/TheKidFromYesterday
Summary: “Victor.”Again, he swallowed as he locked eyes with Mr. Plisetsky.“What does he know?”Victor’s eyes went to the floor.  “Nothing, if you haven’t said anything.”Mr. Plisetsky nodded and left, the door swinging closed behind him.Or:The one where Victor's rather ordinary life is turned upside down thanks to the cute skating instructor, a family secret, and a small ice cream shop





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okayyyyyy first long fic in this fandom!! I'm nervous!! and excited!!  
> What do I say in the notes? Hello? Welcome? I hope you enjoy? All of the above?  
> I'll try to update weekly, but no promises! If anyone here has ever read my other chaptered fics, you'll know that I'm terrible at keeping up schedules. On top of that, school has started! My profs are great but i'm taking WRITING classes so I might be caught up in doing that stuff a lot of the time. Nevertheless, I am determined to finish this (hopefully before NaNoWriMo in November) so please feel free to yell at me to keep updating if I mysteriously disappear!  
> I'll stop taking for now, please enjoy!

Victor Nikiforov didn’t trust the man in his kitchen.

He watched through narrowed eyes as his parents sat at their kitchen table, deep in discussion with the elderly man and professional looking woman who had shown up about an hour before. 

“Victor!”

Jerking his attention away from his parents and the strangers, Victor turned towards where his little brother sat on the swing, desperately pushing his short legs back and forth in an attempt to get moving again.

“Push me!”

“Roman, you’re more demanding than mom and dad.” Victor grinned, but walked back to the swingset anyways. “What are you going to do if I’m ever not home, huh? How’re you going to get the swing moving?”

Roman laughed again, enjoying both his brother’s complaints and the rush of wind in his hair. 

Victor turned back to look into the house again. From where he stood, he could easily make out the four people, all talking seriously, and he tried to ignore the bad feeling that began to grow in the pit of his stomach. 

Nearly an hour earlier, there had been a knock on the front door which had brought in the middle ages man and young woman. There had been almost no discussion before both Victor and Roman had been shoved out the door with ‘why don’t you go play on the swings?’ following after them. Still, there was no move from any of the adults to call the kids back inside.

“Victor!” The six year old on the swing was relentless, “I’m slowing down!”

“Good!” Victor grinned back, already moving to push his brother again. “Then maybe you won’t fly off and break your head open one day.”

Somehow, the morbid idea struck a chord with the kid, bringing about a huge grin that only had Victor worrying slightly for when the kid learned how to climb higher than the swing set. 

He smiled fondly at the sheer joy that came from being pushed on the swing, keeping his hands halfway outstretched just in case anything happened. He couldn’t help it. Despite being only 12 years old, he found that he had already developed the ‘mom worry’ that he had hated when he was Roman’s age. The fear that his little brother would accidentally stab himself with scissors or somehow drown himself in the neighbor’s pool haunted him, even though he knew the kid would most likely be fine. 

“Victor! Roman!”

Both looked up to see the young lady from before standing at the door. “Would you two please come inside? We have a lot to talk about together.” She looked friendly enough, although Victor didn’t trust the spotless pantsuit.

Helping Roman down from the swing, he offered his brother a shrug in response to the look of confusion that he was given. As they headed inside, Victor stopped short and grabbed a hold of Roman’s hand to stop him as well. 

Their parents sat at the table, hands gripped tightly together in a way that mirrored their children’s. The man sat, his eyes wide as he stared at them and the friendly woman stood beside the table, a big, fake looking smile on her face.

“Mom?”

“Yes, honey.” It didn’t sound like a question. There were tears in her eyes and her husband squeezed her hand.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, darling.” She stood, a watery smile on her face. “Roman, come here for a second, okay?”

Roman looked up at Victor for a moment, but Victor nodded and let go of his brother’s hand, still eying the strangers around the table.

Their mother crouched by the table, somehow making herself the same height as Roman. “Roman, honey, you know we’re only your foster family, right?”

Roman nodded and Victor balled up his fists.

“And you know that we love you very, very much, right?”

Again, a nod while their father scoffed. “Foster family.”

“Okay, honey?” She pressed a kiss to his cheek and for once, he allowed it. “Now, there’s someone I want you to meet.” Turning him to the man still seated at their table, she stood up and kept a protective hand on the little boy’s shoulder.

“Boys this is Mr. Plisetsky.”

Mr. Plisetsky smiled at Roman, completely ignoring Victor. “Hi boys.”

Something deep and heavy twisted in Victor’s stomach and suddenly he knew, he knew. This man was going to try to take his brother away. A quick glance at the well dressed lady gave away her status of a social worker. 

He felt his blood go cold. 

“Roman.” Their father wasn’t crying, but it was obvious that he was upset. “Baby, this is your grandfather.”

Grandfather. No, Roman’s grandparents were Victor’s grandparents. They had insisted on him calling them that from the moment he came into their lives. 

Roman was frowning at the man, eyes moving quick between him and Victor. Victor fought the urge to give the kid a warning shake of the head. 

Mr. Plisetsky knelt down to be Roman’s height and held out his hand. “Hello.”

Roman looked at his hand, then back to his foster mom.

“It’s alright honey.” She smiled. “Say hi.”

Victor clenched his fists tighter and tried to control his surprisingly angry thoughts. Roman had been his brother for the past four years, and he couldn’t even remember what it had been like before he had him. After the first year, “foster parents” didn’t fit and they just became parents. There had even been talk of adoption, although Victor realized bitterly that it was too late for that now. He had wanted Roman to be his official brother. 

“Mr. Plisetsky is going to take you out for ice cream so you guys can talk, does that sound good?”

“Um.” The poor kid was obviously uncomfortable, “Okay.”

“Wait——” Victor tried to cut in, but his father cut him off.

“Victor, Roman’s not leaving forever right now,” Right now? “He’ll be back in a few hours.”

It didn’t make Victor feel any better, but he nodded, not wanting to scare his little brother. 

“I don’t want ice cream.” Roman put in, standing up tall and looking Mr. Plisetsky in the eye. “I don’t like ice cream.”

It was a lie and Victor knew it, but he didn’t speak up. 

“Okay, we’ll go to the candy store. Do you like the candy store?”

The hesitation in Roman’s face was enough of a clue and the adults all laughed like someone had just told the best joke they’d ever heard. Victor didn’t laugh. He watched Roman and silently willed him to complain, but the kid only nodded.

Victor stayed quiet until the door shut, closing behind the man, the social worker and his brother.

“Victor, why don’t we go talk in the living room?” It wasn’t really a question, but Victor obeyed, following silently behind his parents and wishing he could just go back outside. 

As they sat on either side of Victor, both parents attempted to take his hand in their’s, but he avoided both. He folded his hands on his lap, making sure no one could hold them. He was mad. How could they let their son just leave with that stranger? How could they be okay with that? 

“We know you’re sad, honey.” His mom started, “So are we. We weren’t expecting this to happen.”

“You weren’t surprised when they showed up at the door.” Victor pointed out and his father hesitated.

“Mr. Plisetsky contacted us last week. We decided that he should come over today to get to know Roman.”

“Why.” The word reeked of bitterness.

“Well, because he’s Roman’s family.” Victor’s mother rubbed his back in what she seemed to think was a soothing manner. “And…he wants to take Roman home with him.”

Victor sat up straight, even though he had been thinking the same thing. “That’s not fair. We were going to adopt him.”

“I kno——wait, how did you know about that?” 

Victor shrugged, “I heard you talking.”

“Oh.” His parents exchanged looks before his mother continued. “Well, yes. We were going to try to adopt him.”

“Then why don’t we? I bet he wants to stay with us more than he wants to go with that guy.” Victor hoped he was right about that. 

“Maybe right now, he does.” His father shrugged, “But don’t you think in the future, when Roman’s all grown up, he’ll be happier with his family?”

“But we are his family.”

“We’re his foster family.” His mother corrected, “Look, honey, we want Roman to stay with us just as much as you do. But we can’t keep him from his grandfather. They’re family. They’re supposed to be together.”

“We’re supposed to be together!” Victor burst out, leaving the couch behind. “Me and Roman!”

“I know, baby.” She reached out her arms to him, but Victor backed up. “But we can’t keep him with us, and I need you to be supportive of him. This is big. He’s just now finding out that he has more family. Mr. Plisetsky was so happy to have his grandson with him.”

“He’s my brother!”

*****

When Roman came back home that evening, he looked happy.

Victor did his best to smile when the kid told him all about the day and his grandpa, but inside he hated the man. He promised himself that he always would.

***** 

Over the next few weeks, Mr. Plisetsky came over almost every other day to take Roman out on some outing so that they could “talk”. Each time they left, Victor slammed the door of his and Roman’s shared bedroom and yelled into his pillow.

One time, he broke the clock beside his bed, but he didn’t tell anyone that.

*****

“He has a cat!”

Victor nodded from his position on his bed, doing his best to sound interested in the latest news about Roman’s new family. 

“And he said I could get one!” Roman bounced on his own bed, a grin lighting up his face. 

“Sounds great.”

“And…” He paused like he was setting up for something huge. “He said I could name it.”

Victor raised his eyebrows like he was amazed, but he didn’t look up from his book.

“Grandpa said———”

“When did you start calling him that?”

Roman hesitated. “Grandpa?”

Victor nodded and Roman shrugged. 

“He’s my grandpa. What else should I call him?”

Victor decided that it wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have with a 6 year old and just rolled his eyes. “I’m going outside.”

“It’s almost dark.” Roman protested. 

“Whatever.” He made sure not to slam the door on his way out, but he certainly didn’t close it gently.

Victor sat on the swings and looked at the house until he was yelled at to come back inside and he slept on the couch.

He tried——he really did——but nothing seemed to be able to control the anger that had starting living inside of him. Any good day could be ruined as soon as he saw new cat stuffed animals on Roman’s bed or when he heard his parents discussing whether or not Roman’s bed should go with him or into the spare room. 

Fake smiles and hugs without prompt became Victor’s life, and he gave both out freely to his brother. He wasn’t mad at Roman. He didn’t think he could ever be mad at Roman. No, it was the man who was taking Roman from him that he was angry at. What right did this man have, barging in and stealing Victor’s family? 

Hate burned him from the inside, but he ignored it, letting it stay there until he had another chance to glare daggers at Mr. Plisetsky when he came to visit. 

*****

Too soon, the day arrived. 

Too soon, Victor looked out the front window to see a painfully familiar car pulling into the driveway. 

Too soon, he was zipping up Roman’s suitcase, stuffed with the last of Roman’s clothes and helping him to put on his backpack.

Wordlessly, they walked towards the stairs to the living room, Victor carrying the cursed suitcase in one hand and his brother’s hand in the other. At the top of the stairs, they stopped and heard the quiet voices of both Victor’s parents and Roman’s grandfather. 

“You ready kid?”

Roman nodded, hesitated, then nodded again.

Victor dropped to his knees, letting go of the suitcase and pulling his brother into a tight hug so that he wouldn’t be able to see the tears forming in his eyes. “You’re gonna have a great life, you know that? You’re gonna be so happy with your grandfather and your cat,” Roman laughed at that, “and I’m so, so proud of you.”

Roman nodded into Victor’s shoulder, burying his little blond head next to Victor’s almost silver hair. He clung tight and for a moment, and Victor had half a mind to grab the suitcase and his brother and maybe the cash from his parent’s drawer and just run. Run and let them chase them until they gave up and Victor and Roman could stay together.

Instead, he pulled back and pressed a firm kiss to his brother’s forehead. “Alright.” He stood and held Roman’s hand tightly again, “Let’s go.”

Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs, all eyes turned to the both of them. Tearful, stern, and excited. Victor fought the urge to yell, but he did turn his glare towards Mr. Plisetsky. He wanted the man to remember how much he was hurting Victor.

“You all ready, honey?” The tears were obvious in Victor’s mother’s voice, but no one pointed them out. “You got your backpack?”

Roman nodded.

“And snacks for the road?”

Again, a nod.

“And you have your——”

Her husband put a hand on her arm, “He’s all ready to go.”

She nodded and knelt in front of her foster son. “I love you, baby. Don’t ever forget that we love you very much, even if you don’t live with us.”

Roman still didn’t speak. 

“And someday, you and Victor can meet up again and have a play date. Won’t that be fun?” She sniffed, “Oh, honey, you’re going to have such a good life. You’re going to be so happy.”

He’s happy here, Victor wanted to say, but he kept his mouth shut. 

As she said her goodbyes, Victor’s father held Victor’s hand in his very tightly. It was beginning to hurt, but he stayed quiet, sure that as soon as he was released, he would run at Mr. Plisetsky. 

The two parents took turns saying goodbyes while Victor stood against the wall, glaring hard at Roman’s grandfather and not moving his eyes away, even when he heard his father’s voice break. Mr. Plisetsky looked uncomfortable under Victor’s gave and it sent a little thrill through him, knowing that he was making this terrible man feel bad for taking away his brother. 

“Victor? Honey, it’s time to say bye.”

Too soon, too soon, too soon.

He pushed off the wall and went to join his parents, keeping his narrowed eyes locked on Mr. Plisetsky for as long as he could. 

A hand took Victor’s and he tore his eyes away from the man to turn to his brother. His brother who he now wouldn’t be able to watch grow up. Their fantasies of growing up together were disappearing before his eyes, and Victor hated it. There went the chances of teaching Roman how to ride a bike, or offering him dating advice, or learning to drive someday, even though Victor himself had yet to learn. Standing there, holding this little boy’s hand and knowing that there were good chances that they’d never see each other again——it was too much. Too much for a little kid to handle.

They hugged each other and as soon as they did, Victor didn’t want to let go. They couldn’t take Roman from them, Roman was family. He was practically already a Nikiforov, and had been for 4 years, he was supposed to grow up with Victor, he was supposed to be a permanent part of their family. He was Victor’s brother and he couldn’t be leaving.

“Victor, honey…”

He only shook his head, still holding Roman tight and the younger boy didn’t seem to mind. He held on just as tight. Hands appeared on Victor’s shoulder’s gently trying to pry him away but he shook them off. No, no, no, no, no, no——

Why couldn’t Roman just stay with them? Mr. Plisetsky could visit like he had been. That would work, right? Then Roman could stay.

“Honey, Roman needs to go with his grandfather. That wouldn’t work out.”

Oh. Victor hadn’t realized that he had been talking aloud. “Why not?” 

Roman had begun to cry, although Victor took it as a sign of triumph that he sought comfort in Victor and not anyone else. He glared over his brother’s little blond mess of hair at Mr. Plisetsky, almost daring him to come any closer. 

Hands were stronger now, pulling the two of them apart and bringing about more tears, this time from the both of them. Roman reached out for Victor, which only set Victor off again, fighting against his father’s hold and screaming over and over again, “He wants to stay, let him stay!”

“Honey, you’re making a scene.”

Victor didn’t care. 

He didn’t care that he was crying like a little kid, didn’t care that he was screaming in his parents faces, didn’t care that their neighbors were probably two steps away from calling the police to complain about the noise. He didn’t care about anything except the little boy who was slowly but surely being towed away from him.

“He wants to stay, please, just let him stay!”

There was someone shushing him, but he pushed them off. Helplessness attacked him as he watched as Mr. Plisetsky carefully picked up Roman, holding him close and attempting to soothe him. Rage ripped through Victor’s entire frame as he watched his little brother wrap his arms around the man and cry on his shoulder. Pain and hopelessness washed over him as he watched the door close with only a wave from the man and a last look from his brother.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay we can finally get to the slightly better part of the story. Enjoy!

Victor woke up cold and hot at the same time.

Bursting from his dream, breath fighting against his lungs, heart pounding like an 80’s drum machine——he awoke.

Upon seeing the dark, empty room around him, he sighed heavily and dropped himself back against the pillows. He urged his breath to slow, pleaded with his mind to stop showing him action highlights of his nightmare and stared at the ceiling.

It was almost weekly that he dreamed about Roman. They were intense dreams, some might call them nightmares, but they had become such a regular part of Victor’s life that it took a lot to shake him. 

The dreams had started the night Roman had gone to live with his grandfather, and in the 10 years that had passed since then, they hadn’t gone away. When Victor was little, they showed up almost nightly, which had driven his parents to shove him into some sort of therapy that Victor is still certain did nothing for him. Now, after considerable time had passed, the dreams only showed up about once a week. Still unpleasant, but a steady reminder to Victor of what he lost that day.

A small voice in the back of his head wonders if the dreams will someday go away altogether and if Victor will forget what his little brother looked like without the aid of the many pictures that he still had.

Sighing in resignation, Victor realized that sleep was not planning on returning to him that night. He shoved the blankets farther away from himself and rolled over to momentarily bury his face in the pillow in an attempt to block out thoughts. As usual, it didn’t work. And as usual, he turned his head again to peek over at his bedside table, squinting through the dark until his eyes landed on a picture frame that hadn’t left his side since he was 12 years old. As it was still mostly dark out, Victor could barely make out the two little silhouettes of him and Roman, a picture that was so ingrained in his memory that he didn’t even need light to see it clearly in his mind. 

Victor missed his brother, despite knowing now that he was probably living a perfectly wonderful life without Victor and his family. 

It was too early to be awake, but Victor forced himself out of bed anyways, his feet touching down on the unfairly cold floor as he made his way to the kitchen to make his morning coffee. 

Victor lived in a world of routine.

Each morning was the same, each afternoon, each night, and Victor told himself that he liked it that way. Wake up, make coffee, go through twitter and instagram, get dressed, go to work. Morning routines were easy and predictable, even the ones where he woke up from a nightmare. Even then, he’d continue with his routine like normal, only this time he’d have more time to waste before going to work.

It was Tuesday, which meant a full day shift at the ice cream shop down the street. He didn’t mind the work or his co-workers, but the idea of having to stand around all day behind the counter was exhausting in itself. The good part about Tuesdays, though, was that after work ended, Victor was able to spend time at the local ice rink. 

He wasn’t great at skating, but he definitely wasn’t bad either. Growing up with a hockey player for a father had him skating almost as soon as he was walking and he had many good memories on the ice, mostly with Roman by his side. 

Now, he allowed himself the stress relief that skating brought to him a few times a week. He went late, so that the rink was mostly empty by the time he showed up, giving him the open space that he needed.

Tuesdays and Thursdays were special though. Those were the days Victor made sure to skate, made sure to dress at least moderately okay, because that was when the cute skating teacher was there. After a while of attempting to figure out the teacher’s schedule, Victor found out that Tuesday and Thursday afternoons were when the man taught his class, but he also stayed late on those days. Usually, it was only Victor and the teacher in the rink, although they weren’t friends. 

Smiles had been exchanged, as well as their numbers for safety reasons (as they were the only ones on the ice, most of the time), although they had yet to have a single, decent conversation. At the moment, their text history read:

 

(XXX)-XXX-XXXX: This is Yuuri

You: Hi :)

 

As the coffee brewed, Victor shuffled back to his room with the intent of getting his uniform ready, even though he had a good few hours left until he needed it, the dream still bright in his mind.

*****

Grand Prix Ice Cream Parlor had definitely not been on Victor’s list of possible jobs when he was younger.

Not that he didn’t like his job——on the contrary, he found that he genuinely enjoyed it most of the time. The ice cream parlor just wasn’t what he had been expecting. 

His childish dreams of becoming a world known figure skater had fizzled out by the time he reached 17, when he had broken his wrist after a bad fall during practice. It had been an accident that he had hated, but he couldn’t mistake his parent’s mutual looks of relief when he stepped off the ice while healing. It had been then that he had looked up the cost of professional training and had realized exactly why his parents had been relieved. When his wrist had healed, he had faced them with determination and told them straight away that he didn’t want to go into professional skating. He didn’t mention the issue about money, but all of them kind of knew.

When he had been little, Victor had thought he’d at least have a moderately cool job. Now, as he stood at a counter and served ice cream sundaes to middle schoolers, he figured he couldn’t have been more wrong about his future. 

“——not into museums as I am, I think. Which is ridiculous. Who doesn’t like museums?”

Pulled from his thoughts, Victor turned his attention to his co-worker, Mila, who appeared to have been talking to him for some time. “Yes.” He answered her latest question as if he’d been listening the entire time. “Museums are great.”

“Which is what I said!” She laughed, “Sara said she’d rather go to the movies.”

Ah, so they were discussing date night. Victor smiled as he watched his co-worker going on and on about her girlfriend, ignoring the slight twist of jealousy in his gut at their happiness together. 

“What about a movie museum?” he offered, waving hello to the customers walking through the front door. “Compromise?” Victor went to take the customer’s orders, hearing a frustrated but amused: ‘I tried that!’ from behind him.

Sometimes, Victor felt like an older brother to Mila. She had only graduated from high school the year before, putting her only a few years behind Victor 

She came to him for advice, even though he tried to tell her that he was terrible with advice. 

*****

The rink was empty and Victor did his best not to be disappointed.

Seeing Yuuri, even though they never really talked, was something he looked forward to each time he came to the rink and he deflated a little when he saw the empty ice.

This is good, He told himself, I can skate without distractions.

The ice was empty, inviting him to mar the clear face of it with his skates, and an eagerness that he hadn’t felt in years filled his chest. Pulling his portable speaker out from his skate bag, he connected his phone and pressed play on his skating playlist. There wasn’t anything special about the songs on the playlist, they were just ones about relief and letting go——something that was synonymous with skating for him.

As he laced up his skates, the music swelled around him, filling the echoing rink with music and breathless excitement. A thrill ran down his spine as he stepped onto the ice and pushed off. It was something that had never left him, ever since he used to skate as a child. 

Taking his place in the middle of the ice, the first song coming to an end around him, he relaxed. Shoulders lost their tension, eyes slipped closed, a long breath of air turned into fog as he exhaled. 

The next song started and so did he.

This was freedom, for Victor. This was better than flying, better than running, better than anything because this was just him. Him and the music and the ice and nothing else.

Stress washed away as he became the music, letting himself go and just feeling and nothing could touch him.

After what could have been any amount of time, the song came to an end and Victor slowed down, ending his impromptu routine with a dramatic gesture towards...Yuuri?

Startled by the appearance of the skating teacher, Victor jumped and almost fell over, despite standing still on the ice. 

Yuuri was clapping. “Impressive!” He called, although the echo in the room was enough to carry his voice without having to raise it. 

Victor blushed furiously, quickly skating over to the side of the rink where Yuuri stood. “I, uh, didn’t know you were watching.”

“I only got her a minute ago.” The man shrugged, having the good grace to look a little nervous as he adjusted his blue rimmed glasses. “Your skating is very good. Have you thought about going professional?”

The praise had Victor’s heard thudding in his chest, the blush refusing to leave his cheeks. “Oh, of course not! I skated as a kid, but stopped for, uh,” He glanced up at the cute man before him, “Monetary reasons.”

Yuuri nodded wisely. “It is one of the more expensive passions to pursue. That’s why I’m a teacher.” He laughed softly and Victor decided that it was his new favorite sound.

God, he had it bad for this cute stranger.

“You’re late today.” He blurted out into the brief silence, immediately berating himself for opening his mouth. “I, uh, I mean——”

Yuuri laughed again, “There was no class today, but I figured I might as well use my time off to skate anyway.” He held up his own skates as proof. “I love teaching, but skating on your own is always the best.”

Victor nodded in agreement, not really sure what to say. How does one keep up a decent conversation with someone as wonderful as Yuuri? Victor barely even knew the man, but he didn’t care. Yuuri was wonderful in his eyes.

“I should actually get started,” Yuuri blushed now, and Victor was relieved that he wasn’t the only one doing so. “I promised myself I’d work on choreographing a new practice for the older kids.” He took a step back, eyes still on Victor like he was waiting for him to say something.

“Oh!” Victor skated backwards, noticing only then that his music was still playing softly from his speaker. “Sorry, let me turn this off.” As he skated towards his speaker, a sharp ringing brought his attention to his phone where it lay beside the speaker. Who on earth could be calling him at this time? 

The caller screen informed him that it was Mila, and he rolled his eyes briefly before answering the call. “This better be good.”

“Victor!” She sounded cheerful, but frustrated as well. “I need your help.”

He sighed, tucking the phone against his ear and shoulder as he packed away his speaker and leaning on the wall around the rink. “What did you do now? And no, I’m not going to talk to Sara for you because you guys had a disagreement about movies again.”

“It’s Georgi. He got dumped and drunk and sad. Not necessarily in that order.” She sounded out of breath. “I saw him driving over to pick up Sara and I really can’t deal with this right now.”

Right. Her date night.

Victor glanced longingly over his shoulder, locking eyes with Yuuri just as the other was stepping onto the ice. Yuuri smiled at him and Victor cursed his overly dramatic friends. 

He sighed. “I’ll come pick him up. Text me Sara’s address; I’m assuming you’re over there right now?”

“Yeah.” She sounded on edge. “I had to walk him up to her apartment. Do you know how hard that is?”

“Just hang on, I’ll be there soon.” 

They hung up and Victor finished putting his things in his bag before heading off the ice.

“Hey!” Yuuri was watching him, a concerned look on his face. “Everything alright?”

Victor tried to look happy as he smiled at Yuuri. “Yeah. But I gotta head out early tonight.” He didn’t want to leave, especially since he and Yuuri were actually talking, but he couldn’t leave Mila and Sara to deal with a drunk and upset Georgi, especially on date night. 

“Oh.” Was that disappointment on Yuuri’s face? It was gone in a second. “Well, I hope everything works out. See you Thursday?”

Victor did his best to calm his excited heart, nodding in confirmation to the other skater. “For sure!”

That was progress, right?

*****

When Victor finally collapsed into his bed in the early hours of the morning, drunk friend on his couch, he covered his eyes with his hands as he thought back to the wonderfully terrible conversation that he had shared with Yuuri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please let me know what you think and kudos are always appreciated!   
> in other news, I watched all of Falsettos last night and now I can't stop listening to the soundtrack.   
> Come say hi on tumblr @attemptingauthor


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright alright alright here's another chapter if anyone's interested

“Distracted much?”

Victor’s head dropped from where his hands held it up against the counter, his eyes shooting open.

“Jeez, old man.” Mila laughed from beside him, wiping down the counter. “You taking a nap?”

“Not intentionally.” He groaned and picked his elbows up from the counter. “I don’t know, I didn’t sleep well last night.”

She nodded sympathetically, “Sorry to dump Georgi on you. I know he’s rough to deal with after a breakup——”

He held up a hand. “I’m not going to let him ruin your date night.”

Mila laughed, “Sara and I both appreciate it very much.”

The bell rang and a group of high school kids piled in, laughing and yelling and bringing an overall feeling of crowdedness into the shop, despite it being rather empty. They took turns ordering, none less then a double scoop, and Victor felt a slight stab of jealousy as he watched them take over the big table in the corner of the room. 

Despite being a fairly friendly person, Victor had never had a group of close friends while in school. Sure, he’d had people he talked to or occasionally ate lunch with, but never someone who he thought of as a best friend, much less a group of them. 

He had been driven at a young age to get his school done so that he could move out. It wasn’t that he didn’t love his parents, but there was a certain point in his life where he decided that he wanted out. He worked hard and studied hard until he was able to leave, moving far away from his childhood home and moving out to where he was now. This left little time for him to make friends with his classmates, in both high school and college, but he promised himself that he’d have that cliche group of friends when he was older.

Now, he was older. He had Mila, who was just barely nineteen and was more of a co-worker friend than an actual friend. He had Georgi, who used to work at the ice cream shop with them but had continued to stay friends after he had left, and…Yuuri. Possibly.

He hoped Yuuri considered them friends, despite having barely spoken to each other. 

Getting the feeling of being watched, Victor looked up, expecting to find Mila staring him down for attention, but he instead locked eyes with one of the kids in the group. He looked a little familiar and Victor wondered if he’d seen him around town before. Those bright eyes and long blond hair could not easily be forgotten. They kept eye contact for a moment longer, both studying the other from across the room until the kid broke first, laughing at something that one of his friends had said and looking away. 

Victor looked away as well, muttering an excuse to Mila before heading to the break room behind the counter.

Something about that kid had made Victor uncomfortable, like he had somehow seen right through everything that Victor was, and he didn’t like it. He had seemed so...detached, somehow. Shaking his head, Victor pushed the thought away from the front of his mind and instead focused on sorting ice cream toppings in the back.

By the time he went back out to the counter, the group of kids was gone and Mila was back to complaining that he had left her to handle clean up by herself.

“Mila, that kid with the blond hair,” He grabbed a cleaning rag and began to wipe down the counters. “Who was he? He was staring at me like we knew each other.”

She shrugged, “Don’t know his name, but he went to my high school. Saw him in the halls sometimes. Why?”

“I think I know him, too.”

“Doubt it.” She tossed her own rag away and leaned her back against the back counter, “Kid’s been living here forever. You just moved here what, like a year ago?”

Still, the image of the kid staring him down stayed in his mind.

*****

It took only a quick glance for Victor to recognize Yuuri across the farmer’s market. 

That quick glance had him desperately leaning over a lettuce stand in an attempt to hide his face, his thoughts running wild through his head.

What if Yuuri was a regular at the market? What if he knew everyone there? Victor had only been a handful of times, what if Yuuri thought that he was stalking him? Would he even say hi if they made eye contact?

“Can I help you with anything?” The lady at the lettuce stand was watching him like he was insane. Granted, he did look the part.

“Sorry.” He smiled sheepishly up at her, trying to look interested in what she was selling. “I just——”

“Victor?”

Slowly, he shut his eyes, then plastered a friendly, carefree smile on his face as he turned to face the cute, ice skater. “Yuuri!”

Goddamn, it should not be legal to be this level of cute. The man was wearing a sun hat——a fucking sun hat! One of the ones with the wide brims that middle aged mom’s would wear while gardening, but he somehow managed to make it work. And overall shorts? Jesus Christ, the man was trying to kill Victor with looks alone.

Yuuri either didn’t notice, or ignored the way Victor stared at him, instead smiling widely himself. “You don’t seem like a farmer’s market type of guy.” He nodded at the bag in Victor’s hand, “Although, it is pretty much impossible to resist that honey.”

Victory’s unhelpful imagination put a comma in between “that” and “honey”, and a blush covered his cheeks. “Uh, yeah. I’m not usually one for these, although I do stop by every once in a while. You come here often?” He winced internally at his words that sounded more like a pickup line than anything else. 

Yuuri laughed and Victor couldn’t help but smile wider. “Yeah, you could say I’m one of the move avid fans of this place. Everything’s so good and fresh——I think everyone should come to farmer’s markets. These people need support, and I’m more than willing to pay a little more for some good food. I——” he cut himself off, “I’m sorry.” He looked sheepish, but he still smiled. “I don’t mean to bore you.”

Victor almost choked. “You’re not boring me!”

Yuuri nodded, although he didn’t seem convinced. “Anyway. I didn’t get a chance to talk to you for long the other day, at the rink.”

He wanted to talk to me, Victor smiled to himself, but he didn’t say anything.

“I wanted to compliment you on your figure. You looked like you skate professionally.”

Victor smiled, unreasonably proud of the compliment. “No, I wasn’t lying when I said I just skated when I was little. My dad played hockey and my brother and I———”

“You have a brother?”

Victor paused. “I, um,” he didn’t want to talk about this. “No. I don’t.” Saying that out loud hurt like hell, but explaining Roman to Yuuri wasn’t something that Victor wanted to do, especially in front of a lettuce stand at the Farmer’s Market.

“I’m sorry.” Yuuri actually did look so, “I didn’t mean to pry.”

Victor waved off the apology, but the thought of his brother still lingered in his mind. “I, uh, I actually need to be going.” He looked at his phone as if to check the time, and realized that he’d spent far longer than he had expected at the Farmer’s Market.

Yuuri looked upset, “Look, I’m sorry I asked——”

“No, don’t worry about it.” Victor smiled, reaching out to adjust the brim of Yuuri’s hat without thinking. It was only when he noticed the both of them leaning towards each other that he pulled his hand away, as if he’d been burned. “I’ll see you on Tuesday?”

Yuuri nodded, his eyes wide and his groceries held tight in his arms. 

“Alright.” Victor nodded as well. “See you then.”

He left with a smile tossed over his shoulder and his head full of thoughts that he was partially afraid of.

*****

The blond kid was back with the rest of his friends and as Mila was distracted with talking to her friend over the counter, Victor served them.

He wasn’t all that surprised by their loud, rather annoying sense of humor, but he did his best to smile and just take their orders. The blond kid was just as loud as the rest of his group, but he was one of the few to thank Victor and politely ask about his day as he was serving, so Victor decided that he liked him well enough.

He also decided that he’d definitely seen the kid before.

As the group ate their ice cream and Mila continued to talk to her friend over the counter, Victor grabbed a rag to wipe down the already clean counters. They weren’t allowed friends hanging out while at work, but apparently, Mila just didn’t give a fuck and Victor respected that, no matter how annoying it was.

As he cleaned, Victor snuck glances at the group, his eyes somehow always meeting those of the blond kid. And whenever he looked up and the kid wasn’t looking at him, Victor followed his gaze and caught him staring at Mila’s friend, instead.

Victor could see why——the guy was pretty handsome. The kid was obviously distracted by him and Victor smiled to himself, because he was the exact same way when he was figuring himself out.

As more customers entered the shop, Victor found himself overwhelmed and called on Mila to help out. She shooed her friend away and Victor noticed the blond kid shamelessly watching him leave the building, jaw dropping slightly as he saw the guy climb on a motorcycle and disappear down the street.

“You’re not supposed to have friend’s around here while working.” Victor told Mila, letting her know about his annoyance. 

“Otabek’s not a friend, he’s practically family.” She grinned at Victor, “Besides, you’re not going to tell on me.”

“Maybe not, but you do owe me one favor for each time he hangs out here.”

Mila rolled her eyes, but grinned at him as she went to serve customers and Victor knew that they were okay.

Leaning back against the counter, Victor pulled out his phone to check the time. Two more hours until his shift was over, but without the added motivation of seeing Yuuri at the skate rink that evening, it felt like longer. 

The unmistakable noise of teenagers brought him out of his thoughts and he looked up in time to watch the group of high schoolers tossing their trash away and grabbing their bags. All of them except the blond kid, who was gesturing to the rest of the group to leave without him.

Victor frowned when they didn’t even protest, barely looking back at him as they left. He watched as he bundled up the leftover trash from the table and made his way to the counter. He tossed the trash away and took a seat at one of the bar stools, not looking up. 

He looked upset, continually stabbing his spoon into the mostly melting ice cream that was still in his cup and scrolling through something on his phone. Victor watched him, but pretended not to when Mila came up to talk to him. 

“What’s up with him?”

Victor shrugged, unable to help the slight sliver of worry that was sitting in his stomach. “His friends left and he stayed behind.”

Mila watched him for a moment, then shrugged and went into the back. 

Victor cleaned and served and worried until the kid finally left.

*****

Victor was stressed out, and it was his own fault. 

There he was, in his own apartment that he had payed for with his own money, feeling bad about himself. If his mother was there, he was sure that she would have something to say about how upset he was getting, most likely offering her opinion. It wouldn’t be her fault. She would be right.

“You moved out of the house, graduated college and then got a job at an ice cream parlor? Vitya, you can do better”

But to be completely honest, he wasn’t sure if he could. Sure he considered himself pretty well off. He had his impressive degree and the constant reassurance that his parents would catch him if he ever fell, and a job that payed more than it should have. He was taken care of and he would have that care for as long as he wanted, but what was he waiting for?

Why hadn’t he gone into some high paying, office job instead? Why didn’t he just find a partner and settle down and give his parents the grandkids that they always wanted? Why didn’t he just stop wasting time and actually do something with his life.

You’re not going to be this young forever, He could almost hear his mom saying to him, You can’t keep wishing for the past. It’s not coming back.

But god, how he wanted it to. The simple times when he didn’t have to stress about jobs and relationships and weird kids staring at him while at work——it seemed like ages ago, even though he had only moved out of his parents house the year before. 

I should do something, He told himself, I should write a book, or learn a language or download a fucking dating app. It didn’t matter. I have to do something.

But he didn’t.

And it worried him.

Instead, he stayed up much too late watching movies and eating pity popcorn, all while telling himself that he was going to be fine.

*****

Victor was not having a good day.

He had been woken up earlier than usual by his nightmare, unable to put himself back to sleep afterward. He had sat by his kitchen table with a cup of coffee in one hand and a framed picture of himself and Roman in the other. It had been dark outside as well. 

Needless to say that by the time he had arrived at Grand Prix, he was in a foul mood. Barely a hello to Mila before grabbing his apron and heading to the back room to organize toppings. 

He hated days like these. 

Days where thoughts of his brother were unable to leave his mind and the lack of sleep followed him around like a kicked puppy. He usually ended up flubbing jumps at the rink or mixing up ice cream orders, which only put him in an even worse mood than before.

He spent about an hour in the back before Mila poked her head in. “I won’t pry, because you’ve obviously managed to have a shitty day in the few hours that you’ve been awake, but I need reinforcements up here. Big group.”

Victor sighed and nodded, knowing that his bad day was not Mila’s fault, but was still unable to stop the frown that covered his face.

His fake smile hurt, cutting into his cheeks and reminding him with every passing second of the bad mood he was in. He scooped too roughly, he grinned too wide, and broke three plastic spoons in about two hours, and Mila was getting annoyed.

He was about to ask her to take over his shift so that he could clock out early when the bells rang and the blond kid from the high school group came in. His hood was pulled low over his eyes and his hands were shoved in his pockets, giving him a look of anger and power that a teenager should not have been able to pull off. Victor managed to see a deep scowl on his face before the kid sat down at one of the bar stools and dropped his head in his arms.

Victor slowly made his way towards the kid, momentarily putting his own bad mood on pause. “You want your usual?”

The kid looked up, surprise covering his face for a moment before it was replaced by a scowl. “Yeah. Thanks.”

Victor offered a smile, but the kid was already looking away.

He scooped the rocky road ice cream, careful not to break the little plastic spoon as he stabbed it into the dessert, and slid it across the counter to the kid. “Bad day?”

He was handed a glare as the kid grabbed his spoon, mixing the ice cream with a certain maliciousness that Victor was surprised at. The kid shrugged.

“Me too.” There was no one else at the counter, so Victor leaned against the back counter as he tried to keep up a conversation. “Woke up way too early and couldn’t go back to sleep.”

The kid watched him like he was insane, before rolling his eyes and going back to his dessert. “Whatever.”

“Where are the rest of your friends?”

The glare that he received was full of hate and Victor frowned a little. “Those are not my friends.”

“Oh.” Victor shook off his surprise. “Sorry.”

“Whatever.”

Obviously the kid wasn’t in the mood to talk about himself, but he had somehow brightened a little since he had walked into the shop, and Victor was determined to make sure the kid’s bad mood came to an end. Maybe it would help with his own. 

Victor talked about anything he could think of as he continued to work, keeping up a mostly one sided conversation with the kid as he served other customers. The kid wasn’t talkative, but there were moments where he looked like he was about to smile and Victor was quickly forgetting about the bad day.

Despite the occasional smiles though, he still couldn’t get a read on the blond kid sitting at the counter. He still seemed upset, but other than that, Victor didn’t know anything about him. 

He knew that he went to the high school that Mila went to. He knew that he had been not so inconspicuously checking out Otabek a few days earlier. He knew that he said thank you when Victor refilled his ice cream cup for free. 

When they talked, the kid seemed to be brighter and more at ease, but the moment Victor left him to help other customers, his shoulders would slump again and his head would drop to stare down at the counter. It was like he was putting on a show for Victor, allowing him to think that he was helping. Victor felt helpless.

About an hour and a half after he first sat down, the kid stood up and tossed his empty ice cream cup in the trash. “I’m going home.”

“Alright.” Victor raised his hand in a wave and the kid rolled his eyes as he left.

*****

Over the next few weeks, Victor decided that he and the kid were friends. 

Yuri, as he learned the kid’s name was, said that he didn’t think that they were, but he had continued to sit at Victor’s counter and listen to him talk almost every day, so Victor wasn’t convinced.

He showed up with his backpack slung carelessly over his shoulder, complaining about the amount of homework that he was getting, despite it being summer.

When Victor had asked about that, Yuri had rolled his eyes and explained that he was taking classes at the community college while in high school to get his education over and done with as fast as he could. It was smart, and Victor wished he had done the same when he was younger. It was probably cheaper as well, and he might not be sitting in piles of debt now.

“Don’t you have a friend named Yuuri?” Mila asked him one day as they closed up, “Like, don’t you get the two Yuri’s mixed up?”

Although Victor doubted that the two would ever meet, he changed blond Yuri’s name to Yurio in his head to differentiate between the two of them if they ever did. 

Yuri hadn’t been pleased and had nearly topped his personal best in most swear words in one sentence, but by the time he went home, he had stopped complaining about it.

Most days Yuri sat on the stools with his books and binders and papers strewn over as much of the counter as Victor would allow, melting ice cream in front of him and complaints to give to anybody who allowed him to talk. And talk he did.

After the first few days of Victor chatting his ear off, Yuri had apparently decided that he’d had enough and had chimed in with opinions of his own. Victor had been surprised, but pleased at the many, many opinions that the kid had. By the time Yuri finally went home——homework done and ice cream finished——-Victor found himself wiping down counters with countless thoughts and ideas rushing around his head, thanks to the nonstop conversation that came with Yurio wherever he went. 

Always full of thoughts, opinions, and complaints he——

Victor’s phone went off and as he opened it, he stared at the screen for a moment.

 

Yuuri: I’ve been teaching kids how to skate a single salchow for hours and I don’t think any of them actually got it.

 

Victor laughed at the obviously tired tone of voice that Yuuri’s text was written in, and quickly pulled up his keyboard to respond.

 

You: Sounds tiring. You still skating?  
Yuuri: No, I left the ice as soon as I could, which is a first. 

 

There was a pause where neither spoke before the chat bubble appeared on Victor’s screen.

 

Yuuri: If you’re free, would you want to grab coffee or something? 

 

Victor’s heart simultaneously stopped and raced and the innocent text, a giddy smile creeping onto his face before he could stop it.

 

You: Totally! Just tell me when and where.  
Yuuri: I’m headed to the starbucks on Olive rn. Meet me there?  
You: Yep see you in a bit

 

“Mila!” Victor shoved his phone in his pocket, “Can you lock up for me? I gotta head out early.”

She rolled her eyes, but when she saw the grin on her face, she mirrored it. “You gotta date, Nikiforov?”

He blushed, but neither confirmed nor denied the statement. “Please?”

“Yeah, yeah,” She waved him off, “get your ass out of here.”

Letting out a sigh of relief, Victor leaned over the counter and kissed his friend on the cheek. “You’re the best and we’re even for you letting Otabek hang out here.”

She rubbed the kiss off her cheek and rolled her eyes, “Whatever, your date is waiting for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated, as writing is fuckin hard and i'm tired and in need of stranger's validation lmao. I have a screenwriting class and a creative writing class and NaNoWriMo is starting soon so I need to PLAN and do homework from other classes and yo I'm barely holding it together here lol  
> In other news, YA GIRL SAW GREEN DAY LAST NIGHT! LIVE! I SAW BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG! LIVE!  
> anyways. my tumblr is @attemptingauthor if you're interested in saying hello or something. Have a great day!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoop here's another chapter

The maybe coffee date wasn’t as awkward as Victor was expecting it to be.

Yuuri had found them a small, corner table at the Starbucks, drink already in hand in his headphones in as he gazed out the window. Victor had stood and watched him for a few moments before stepping up to the counter to order his own drink. 

They talked about ice skating, which was one of the few topics that they could relate to each other with. Yuuri complained about his students, all the while with a smile taking up most of his face and Victor could tell that he loved teaching almost as much as skating itself. 

Victor mentioned skating when he was younger, but he left out any mentions of Roman and Yuuri didn’t bring up the subject either. It was a subject that he knew a lot about, but doubted that anyone else cared. Besides, he didn’t want to bring it up on the first date.

Date. Was this a date? Would it be rude to ask?

Victor fiddled with the little piece of cardboard that protected his hand from the hot cup of coffee, wondering. Would Yuuri have specified if it was a date? Or would they just not mention it and pretend that it was just a weird coincidence that it actually felt like a date?

“——and I trained in Detroit for a little while. It’s a great place, really. Lots of good people.” 

Victor sighed, sipping on his coffee, “You’ve kind of lived my childhood skating dream, you know that?”

When Yuuri laughed, it was like a light had gone on inside of him, the way he lit up. It was friendly, full of limitless love and Victor decided that it was his new favorite sound. “It’s hard to go professional,” He confessed, picking at the lid of his cup. He looked regretful. “I trained so hard to try and compete, but I guess I was never really up to their standards, you know?”

Victor frowned, “Well that’s their loss.” He didn’t like the sad look on Yuuri’s face. “I’m sure that if you went professional, you’d be the best skater out there.”

“Thanks.” The skating instructor looked genuinely pleased at the compliment, his cheeks flushing red for a moment. “Well, at least my kids are impressed with me. I can do a double axel and they think that I’m unstoppable.” He smirked into his coffee before taking a sip. “It’s good for self esteem.”

It was Victor’s turn to laugh, “I should try that someday.”

They exchanged easy smiles and conversation, bonding over their shared love for poodles and even daring to argue good naturedly over how to properly drink coffee.

“It’s better when it’s black.” Yuuri was passionate. “What’s the point of drinking coffee if you’re just going to dump a bunch of sugar into it?”

“What’s the point of drinking coffee if it tastes like dirt?” Victor shot back, gleefully sipping his own, rather over sweetened cup of coffee. “Here, take a sip of mine.”

Yuuri shook his head, laughing. “No! I’ll take one sip and then crash ten minutes later! Do you know how much sugar is in that cup in your hand?”

“Enough for it to taste good, you sadist.” Victor pushed his cup across the table. “I’ll even try yours.”

After a moment of hesitation, Yuuri agreed. “Only because I want to see your reaction.” He promised. True to his word, Yuuri took one sip of Victor’s coffee and pulled a face. “It’s just sugar!” He cried, swallowing with a look of pure regret on his face.

Laughing, Victor tried to pull his coffee back to him, but Yuuri held onto it. “Oh no. Don’t think you can get out of trying mine.” He nodded towards the cup of coffee now in front of Victor, keeping his hands protectively around Victor’s. 

“I shouldn’t have promised you anything.” Victor grumbled, but took the cup anyway. As predicted, it tasted like dirt, or really watery mug. “Jesus Christ.” He choked, “I’m on a date with a sociopath.”

Yuuri laughed, but is was more soft and unsure than anything. “A date? Are we on a date?”

At the realization of his words, Victor turned red. “No! I mean, I don’t know. Are we?”

“We could be.”

They shared smiles, giddy and nervous as they sipped their coffee and tried to work up the courage to hold hands.

*****

Victor wasn’t upset, but he wasn’t quite happy either. 

He had had a bad day and there was a strange feeling that had taken over his apartment from the moment he walked through the door that had his heart hurting and his eyes tearing up. 

It wasn’t a new feeling; He had felt the same in the first weeks after Roman had left him when he was little. It was an empty sort of hurting that had him curling up on his couch with a picture in his hand and a memory in his mind. Not pleasant.

Sometimes, Victor wondered if he would ever get over his brother. Normal foster siblings either got over being separated, or they managed to meet up at some point in the future. Victor had long since stopped asking his parents when he could meet Roman again, after years of “Someday, honey, someday”. He shouldn’t be dreaming of him and missing him the way he was, should he?

Should he?

 

Yuuri: This blond kid in my class won’t stop trash talking the other kids, I had to put him on time out and he’s pissed.

 

Laughing softly at the text, Victor responded.

 

You: Aren’t you not supposed to complain about your students?  
Yuuri: Probably but he’s getting on my nerves. He’s good but he shouldn’t put the others down. I made him sit down.  
You: I’m sure he’ll forgive you at some point.  
Yuuri: The kids are taking a break and he’s talking about how he used to skate when he was little and that’s why he’s so good now.

 

Victor’s heart ached.

 

Yuuri: I think you two would get along.  
You: Haha maybe

 

Victor wasn’t paying attention. He was staring at the picture in his hand now, of the bright smile on his brother’s face, his cheeks flushed from ice skating all morning.

 

Yuuri: He has my name I think that’s why he kinda hates me  
You: Hold on, Yuri? Little angry blond kid?   
Yuuri: You know this kid?? Omg sorry I’m being so rude.  
You: Not rude! He comes to Grand Prix and yes, he can be a jerk it’s not only to you lol

 

Yurio hadn’t mentioned ice skating, but Victor grinned at the new conversation material he now had. 

 

Yuuri: Yuri is really good

 

Victor stared harder at the picture in his hand. The bright smile, the red cheeks, the tight hold he had on Victor’s arm——it was hard to look at without missing those times, but Victor couldn’t look away. There was something off about the picture, something he couldn’t quite place. Roman looked familiar, but not in a way that a brother should.

 

Yuuri: Breaks over, text you later

 

Dropping the picture on the couch, Victor almost tripped over himself on his way to his bedroom, frantically digging out an old shoe box full of more pictures. Family, friends, blurry pictures of trees from when he was going through his ‘photography phase’——digging and digging until he reached the bottom where his pictures of him and Roman were. 

He sat on the floor, pictures strewn around him as far as he could reach with his mind racing with thoughts. So many pictures, so many memories, so many.

Desperately searching, searching, searching until finally he found it. It had been his mother’s least favorite picture of Victor and Roman, as they both had incredible scowls on their faces at being forced to take the picture. He’d seen it thousands of times before but now…

Now, it was someone else who was looking back at him, someone who was not his brother. 

No.

There was no way that could be right, but the longer he stared at the picture, the more Roman seemed to turn into the angry blond kid from the ice cream shop. 

Victor shook his head, riffling through more pictures in a manic attempt to ease his clearly insane mind, but as he picked up more pictures, the more Roman seemed to look like Yuri. The same angry scowl in some, the blond hair that Roman had refused to cut, the way he clung to his books and skates and Victor like they would somehow keep the frown away.

I’m insane, Victor decided, letting the pictures drop and leaning his back against the wall, That’s it, I’m going insane. The ages match up, too. Roman would be 16 by now.

The thought made him hug his arms to his chest, reminding him that he missed out on watching him grow up.

On a whim, he picked up his phone and called his mother, thoughts running wildly through his head.  
“Victor?”

“Mama!”

“Oh! Honey, are you alright?” She sounded worried, although pleased to hear from him and he felt momentarily guilty for not calling more often. “How are you?”

“Where did Roman go to live again?”

“I don’t…somewhere in Nevada, I think?” She sounded confused, “It was somewhere west.”

West.

Victor and Yuri lived west now.

“You don’t remember which state?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t.” There was a sound like her placing something down, “Victor, honey, are you alright?”

“I’m fine mama, I’ll call you later, okay?” Fear that he would say something to get her hopes up rushed through him. He couldn’t do that to her. 

“Alright then, be safe.”

With a promise that he would, he hung up and tossed his phone away from him, unable to think straight.

Unable to comprehend what might be happening.

Unable to stop…crying?

Touching his cheeks, Victor noticed tears making tracks towards his chin and he wondered when he had started crying. 

It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except for the pictures and Roman and Yuri.

*****

Victor couldn’t stop staring.

Yurio had walked in as per usual, dumping his bag of books on the counter and loudly complaining about his professors until handed an ice cream, but Victor couldn’t stop watching him.

Roman. Yurio. His mind played the two back and forth, trying out the first name on this kid in front of him and the second on his little brother. It fit, but he suspected it was just because he wanted it to.

“What’s with you today, old man?” Yurio had his books open around him and a scowl on his face. “Didn’t get your morning grits?”

Victor did his best to roll his eyes at the teasing, “I’m not that much older than you, you know.”

“You’re older than that old hag,” He pointed his spoon at Mila, who flipped him off from across the store. “So you’re an old man.”

“Respect your elders, then!” Mila yelled at Yurio.

As he laughed, Yurio turned to Victor, “Come on, no comeback? You always have something to add in.”

Victor shrugged and began to clear off tables. “Kinda out of it today.”

Yurio shook his head sadly, “The memory’s already going? I guessed it was coming soon, what with your gray hair——” He paused, clearly waiting for Victor’s predictable indignant reply, but nothing came. “The hell’s wrong with you today?”

“Nothing.” Victor turned to smile at the kid, but only seeing him had him almost collapsing onto the table he had just cleared off. “I’m alright.”

Yurio scoffed, “Whatever you say.”

The unmistakable sound of a motorcycle cut through their conversation and Mila and Yurio both perked up. Victor frowned.

He watched with disapproval as Otabek stalked over towards Mila, both immediately losing themselves in conversation. Rolling his eyes, he tossed his dirty rag over the counter and yelled across the shop: “Mila!”

Without looking away from her conversation, she yelled back, “I covered you for your date!”

Yurio watched the exchange with narrowed eyes. “You got a date, old man?”

Victor blushed despite himself and shook his head. It hadn’t technically been a date. “No. It wasn’t a date. Mila’s just being a jerk.” He looked up at the kid, who really wasn’t paying him any attention at all. He was staring openly at Otabek, his chin propped in his hand and his eyes wide and as Victor followed his gaze, he saw the older kid shoot a wink at Yurio. He fucking winked.

Victor decided right then and there that he didn’t approve.

Yurio was a child, for fuck’s sake! And possibly his brother!

The thought had him all distracted again and he shook it off to glare at Mila’s friend, who had already turned his back. Looking over at Yurio, he didn’t miss the fantastic blush that covered his cheeks. Victor raised an eyebrow at him which only made the situation worse.

“The fuck are you staring at, old man?” Yurio dove back into his books and homework, pretending as if nothing happened.

When Yurio left, Victor asked Mila if she could cover closing, since the place was rather empty anyway. She waved him off, still chatting with Otabek, who Victor frowned at on his way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exciting ending? Probably not. Hope you enjoyed! Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!  
> I'm running on empty ya'll! School is crazy! And my NaNo planning is very vague! Oh well, I'm surviving.  
> tumblr: @attemptingauthor


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooooooo if anyone's still reading here's another chapter

When Victor thought about pair skating, he thought of the brightly colored, heterosexual couples on the Olympics, tossing each other into the air and performing elaborate choreography.

He did not think about Katsuki Yuuri. He hadn’t even expected him to be at the rink, but there he was, skating alone with his face a mask of relaxation. Victor stopped where he was, leaning against the edge of the rink to watch as Yuuri performed what could have been something professional. 

For a moment, he felt creepy watching. Yuuri hadn’t even noticed him, and there he was, watching his crush skating alone in an empty rink. Then again, Yuuri had done the same to him during the first time they officially talked, so he didn’t feel that bad.

After skating for a while, Yuuri finally noticed Victor and waved him over. All too happy to join him on the ice, Victor laced up his skates and joined him.

“Were you watching me?”

Victor only nodded. 

“Skate with me?” Yuuri held out a hand and Victor swallowed to keep his heart from getting caught in his throat. 

“Of course.”

And they did, lazy circles being traced into the ice as they skated with their hands locked together. They didn’t talk, because they didn’t need to. 

A few more people entered the rink and Victor expected Yuuri to drop his hand, but he made no move to. Only smiled and squeezed Victor’s hand, causing a storm of butterflies in his stomach.

It was a good distraction from the mess that his thoughts had turned to, bringing him out of his head for a few hours. It was good to not stress for a little bit, to focus on the good parts of his life.

Not that the whole Yuri/Roman situation wasn’t good, but it was confusing. 

Thinking about it tended to bring Victor into his mind, not letting him escape for a while as he mulled over his thoughts. It was nice to escape for a little bit, let his mind over think the fact that Yuuri hadn’t let go of his hand despite the rink steadily filling up with people.

*****

The bell chimed above the door and Victor checked the clock in the backroom.

3:15. It was most likely Yuri at the door with his homework and complaints, and Victor wondered if he’d be able to face the kid. Ever since that day when he saw Roman——or Yuri——for the first time, Victor had barely been able to meet his eyes. He couldn’t. All he saw when he looked at Yuri was Roman and that was wrong. Yuri wasn’t the little kid that he had known and loved all those years ago. He wasn’t a little kid at all anymore. 

Yuri had grown up without Victor by his side and it hurt so much to know that.

“Go away, hag! Where’d Victor go?”

God, he didn’t want to face Yuri. But as the complaints grew louder and Mila started shouting as well, Victor had no choice but to leave the back room to shut them up.

“I swear, I will drop kick both of your asses to Russia——” Victor cut himself off as he met the eyes of a stranger standing next to Yuri. No, not a stranger. Mr. Plisetsky. Nikolai. And from the look on his face, he recognized Victor as well.

His eyes bored holes into where he stared at Victor, and Victor stared right back.

“Jeez, old man, I’ve been waiting forever.” Yuri was already sitting on his stool, but without the books. 

Victor couldn’t move. He stared and he hurt and he felt all the anger that had lived inside of him for most of his life bubbling up inside his chest. This man had taken Roman from him———

And it was him. It had to be Roman. 

The realization had him gripping the counter so tight that his hand hurt. 

Did Yuri know? He couldn’t know. There was no way he could be this calm if he did know. Victor wondered what the chances were of running into the two of them and by the expression on Mr. Plisetsky’s face, he was wondering the same thing.

“This is my grandpa.” Yuri jerked his thumb at Mr. Plisetsky and Victor nodded weakly in greeting. “Grandpa, this is Victor. He gives me free ice cream sometimes.”

“That’s not something that you advertise, kiddo.” Victor smiled weakly at him, eyes flicking back and forth between the two of them. 

Yuri shrugged. “Can I get my usual?”

“Sure.” Victor made his way to the ice cream tubs in a daze, his mind oddly blank as he moved on autopilot. He served the ice cream and when Mr. Plisetsky shook his head at the offer, Victor put the second cup away.

It was like the temperature in the room had dropped 20 degrees and Victor shivered.

“What’s with you lately?” Yuri looked confused, “You getting old?”

“Yuri.” There was a soft admonishment from his grandpa and both Victor and Yuri turned red.

“I have tables to clean.” Victor announced, “Mila can help you if you need anything.” He pointed out his co-worker and grabbed a rag from underneath the counter and left the two behind. 

Calm down, he needed to calm down. Heart racing, breathing erratic, forehead sweating——God, it was like he was being held at gunpoint or something.

But it was Roman. Yuri. It didn’t matter. 

Victor held tight to the table that he was wiping down, his eyes squeezing shut in an attempt to calm down. 

From behind him, he listened to Mr. Plisetsky and Yuri talking quietly, occasionally laughing softly about things that he didn’t know about. 

It occurred to him that he didn’t know Yuri at all. He was Yuri Plisetsky or something now, not Roman Nikiforov. He wasn’t Victor’s brother, not in his mind and the thought of him not even knowing Victor scared him. It wasn’t fair.

“Old man!” Mr. Plisetsky started to lecture Yuri, but Yuri brushed it off. “Can I get more?”

“I said to ask Mila!” Victor called back, still not turning around.

“I don’t want Mila! She’s rude!”

“And you’re not?” Mila laughed from nearby, “Kid, you’re worse than anyone here.”

Victor turned around just in time to see Yuri’s pout, and he resisted the urge to laugh. Everything felt wrong with his grandpa around. For some reason, Victor didn’t want to him to think bad of him. 

“Alright, alright.” He grabbed Yuri’s empty cup and raised an eyebrow in question.

“Rocky Road.” Yuri confirmed, and Victor began scooping. 

“No homework today?”

Yuri shook his head, his heels loudly kicking against the bar stool. “No school today. I finished yesterday’s homework this morning.”

“Studious.” Victor smiled at him, before his eyes flicked up to Mr. Plisetsky and the smile was gone. “Uh, enjoy.”

He was being watched. He felt eyes boring into him almost everywhere he was in the shop and he hated it. It was making him nervous. 

Yuri and Mr. Plisetsky didn’t stay long. 

Although he was usually happy to hang out with the kid, Victor breathed a sigh of relief as he watched them standing up. He continued to sweep the floor until they were in front of him on their way out.

“See you tomorrow, I guess.” Yuri was looking at him weird, his head cocked to the side and Victor couldn’t help but notice the intricate braid that took up most of his hair.

Victor nodded and swallowed hard. 

He watched his brother walk out the door and had to cling to the broom in his hand to stay upright. 

“Victor.”

Again, he swallowed as he locked eyes with Mr. Plisetsky.

“What does he know?”

Victor’s eyes went to the floor. “Nothing, if you haven’t said anything.”

Mr. Plisetsky nodded and left, the door swinging closed behind him.

*****

Victor fell and was up on his feet within seconds. There was no music playing and three other people on the ice who were paying him no attention and his mind rushed.

After his shift at Grand Prix, Victor had stopped by his apartment for only enough time to grab his skates before he was on his way to the skate rink. His head was full of thoughts and ideas and memories and it was starting to feel like it was going to burst. Too many thoughts. Not enough room.

He skated like it was going to be his last time, throwing himself into his made up routine with a passion that he rarely felt. Anything to take his mind off Yuri and Roman and Plisetsky and ice cream and———

Again, he fell. 

Groaning in frustration, he dropped his head back onto the ice and lay there, not bothering to move. His head hurt from thoughts and his body hurt from the ice and all he wanted to do was curl up and just…stop.

“Victor?”

Yuuri.

“Are you planning on getting up?” Yuuri was standing above him, smiling but with concern on his face. 

Victor frowned up at him, despite being happy to see the skating teacher. He shrugged.

“Alright, well, you look cold. Can I help you up?”

Victor took the offered hand and let Yuuri lead him off the ice, their hands still locked together. Yuuri sat Victor down on a bench and knelt in front of him. 

“Did you hit your head when you fell?”

Victor shook his head, taking comfort in Yuuri’s hand against his cheek. 

“That’s good.” Yuuri was obviously relieved, “Okay, that’s good. Are you alright?”

Victor hesitated, then shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Yuuri let out a breath. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Nodding his head a little, Victor brought his hands up to his face, rubbing over it and his hair in an attempt to get his thoughts together. “Someone…someone from my childhood has come back into my life.” He started carefully, not wanting to give anything away. Yuuri knew Yurio and he knew at least a little about Victor’s past. “They didn’t recognize me, even though we were very close before. I don’t know if I should say something, because I don’t want to make things weird because right now, everything is okay. What if I…what if I say something and everything goes wrong and I’ve ruined everything?” He tugged at his hair and Yuuri pulled his hands away. 

“You were close when you were younger?”

Victor nodded.

“Did you leave off on bad terms?”

He shook his head. 

“Well, then I think they’d be pleased to see you.” Yuuri sat down beside Victor, their hands still intertwined together.

Victor shrugged, letting his shoulder’s drop. “Maybe.”

Yuuri patted his hand and smiled, “I’m sure everything will work out.”

*****

“Mama, I found him.” Victor wasn’t crying. “I found my brother.”

“What?!”

Victor sat on his couch, phone clutched in his hand and a pillow held to his chest. “Roman. I’ve found him.”

It took a lot of explaining and some tears, but Victor felt better. Someone knew. It was alright. He was alright.

He tried desperately to believe that.

*****

It was hard to talk to Yurio and Victor hated it.

He couldn’t last a single day without either ignoring or staring at the kid. His brother. It was still hard getting used to, but he was getting used to it. 

He stayed up late at night, speaking out loud into the dark of his room. “Not Roman. Yuri. Yuri. Not Roman.”

He couldn’t say that it was helping much, trying to mash together these two different people. He knew them separately——as his brother and as his friend——but he couldn’t turn them into the same person. Victor hadn’t taken Yuri out ice skating when they were little. He had taken Roman. Just in the same way that Victor had never helped Roman out with his homework like he did for Yuri. 

The whole idea made his head hurt, and he had to fight against himself to make sure he didn’t blurt the whole thing out to the kid.

You’re my family, He wanted to say, You’re my brother. 

He wanted to hold Yuri, ask him if he remembered growing up together. He wanted to show him the pictures that still lived in his apartment, he wanted to tell him that his parents still talked about him to their friends, he wanted to tell him that he had missed him every single day since he had lost him.

But he didn’t. Instead, he served Yuri ice cream and gave him help with his homework and did his best to smile.

“——and I don’t know what it means!”

Pulled back into reality and away from his thoughts, Victor blinked. “I’m sorry?”

Yuri rolled his eyes. “You weren’t listening?”

“No I was!” Victor tried, but when Yuri raised a single eyebrow at him, Victor caved. “Okay, I wasn’t. But please, I’m listening now.”

“I was saying,” Yuri jumped right into it, which told Victor that this was, in fact, a very important subject to Yuri. “That he keeps giving me mixed signals and I don’t know what to think.”

Victor hesitated, “…Who?”

“Otabek!” Yuri whisperer yelled across the counter, glancing around to make sure Mila wasn’t around. “The hag’s friend.”

Otabek. Victor narrowed his eyes. “Isn’t he a lot older than you?”

Yuri rolled his eyes, but there was a definite blush on his cheeks. “He’s only three years older than me.”

“Still…” Victor didn’t like it. “It’s a big age difference when you’re younger.”

“You’re so much older than your boyfriend!” Yuri argued, his cheeks darkening. “It’s disgusting!”

“Yuuri and I are adults.” Victor reasoned, then fixed Yuri’s mistake. “And he’s not my boyfriend.”

“Whatever.” Yuri waved his hand like he was waving away Victor’s argument. “But what do I do about Otabek? I’ve never…” He looked around, paranoid as always. “I’ve never actually dated a guy before.”

“I’m surprised you’ve dated anyone before with that attitude.” Victor muttered, backing away from the counter to avoid any swings that Yuri threw at him. “Yuri, you’re so young! Too young!”

“How old were you when you started dating?” 

It wasn’t a question Victor had been expecting and he bit his lip. “I was young.”

“How young.”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, not wanting to be a bad example. “but alright, I get your point. But——” He gestured around the shop, “Otabek is a lot older than you, Yuri. There’s a lot of growing that happens when you’re a teenager. It’s only a few years, yes, but he’s probably a lot more experienced than you are.”

“Whatever.” Yuri kicked the counter, a scowl on his face. “Nothing’s gonna happen, anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean——” Yuri waved his hands around like it was an explanation. “Have you seen him? He’s like sex personified.”

“Hey, woah, let’s not go that far.” Victor protested, but Yuri didn’t hear him.

“And I’m…” He gestured to himself, obviously not happy with what he saw. “Well, I’m me.”

Victor’s heart melted. “Listen, kiddo. You’re great at being you, and no one else can ever come close to that. You’ll be alright, okay? I mean,” he laughed, “I didn’t meet someone until…”

“Yuuri.”

Victor blushed a little and nodded. 

Yuri sighed, “Yeah well, I guess that makes me feel better.”

“Good.”

“…I still think Otabek is pretty sexy, though.”

*****

“But he’s too young!” Victor almost spilled his coffee as he gestured wildly. “Yuuri, he’s 15!”

Yuuri laughed from across the table, sipping his own coffee.

They had run into each other at the Farmer’s Market again and had somehow ended up in a coffee shop after walking around the stands for an hour. Victor felt partially bad that he had been dominating the conversation with his talk about Yurio, but he was concerned. Sue him.

“Shouldn’t he be interested in people his own age? Why are 15 year olds not enough for him?”

Again, Yuuri laughed, “Victor, you’re so protective of this boy. I’m sure he will be okay.”

“But Otabek is an adult.” Victor argued, pinching the bridge of his nose. “And Yurio is so young. He doesn’t know any better.”

“Look,” Yuuri smiled softly and reached across the table to hold Victor’s free hand. “I know these boys. They skate with me, or at least Otabek used to.”

“Really?”

Yuuri nodded, “Long time ago. But I know that even though Yurio having a crush on him isn’t ideal, Otabek will not hurt him. He doesn’t show his care, but he does so deeply when he does.”

“I don’t understand.” Victor leaned forward on the table. So close. So close to Yuuri. 

“I mean, Otabek will not hurt Yurio. He probably won’t even ask him out on a date before he grows up a little more, even if Yurio begs him.”

Victor frowned, “I still don’t like him.”

“That’s understandable.” Yuuri smiled, “You are like family with Yurio, I think.”

Family. God, did that word hurt. Ouch.

“Does he ever talk about me?”

Yuuri shook his head. “Not very much. Sometimes he mentions you——” he glanced up at Victor to gauge his reaction. “He calls you ‘old man’.”

Victor laughed. He couldn’t help it. “That’s not new.”

As they talked, Victor couldn’t help but notice the warm feeling that grew inside his chest. It was happy and thick and warm and soft and it made him smile. Yuuri was wonderful, with his easy smiles and sense of humor and overalls and immediate love for so many things. The man was in love with the world, Victor figured, And the world probably loved him right back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Comments and kudos if you'd like to make my day! Also, if you haven't noticed, I don't have a beta and also I'm stretched real fuckin thin these days so all mistakes are my own.   
> Also. If you are actually reading this, then thanks a bunch. I know this isn't my greatest writing and it means something if people are reading it lmao   
> On a lighter note, I wrote a short story earlier this year and I got it published and it's coming out in an anthology this month. Yay! I just wanted to tell someone again lol  
> tumblr is @attemptingauthor  
> (IT'S FALL MY DUDES!! FINALLY!!)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm losing motivation for finishing this REAL FAST AND IT'S STRESSING ME OUT please enjoy this new chapter thanks

Victor decided that he was scared.

After a late night of texting back and forth with Yuuri, he had decided that he couldn’t hide for the rest of his life. He needed to move around, learn the truth, figure things out.

That insane line of thought now had him standing in front of Nikolai Plisetsky’s house with questions on his mind.

He had chosen to go when Yurio was at skate practice, knowing that he couldn’t quite face both him and Mr. Plisetsky. Even after all the years of knowing who the man was, Victor was still quite unable to think of the man by his first name.

Tension built up in his chest as he climbed the stairs to the front porch, his fist hovering a few inches from the wood of the front door. No, he couldn’t do this. He couldn’t face everything like this in one day. It was too much.

But he had to know what Mr. Plisetsky knew, he had to know what Yuri knew. 

Pulling in a deep breath, Victor let his hand fall on the wood as he knocked. He was scared, but he did his best to shove it down for his own sake. He wondered if Yuri’s grandfather could smell fear.

The door opened and Victor’s throat closed up. God, he was still scared of the man and he wasn’t even sure why. Was it because of his part in Victor’s childhood? Was it because of the scowl on the man’s face that perfectly matched Yurios? He wasn’t sure and he didn’t think he cared.

“Victor.” He didn’t look pleased. “I was wondering when you’d show up.” He pulled the door open and Victor nodded to him as he walked inside. It was farther than he had thought he would get.

The door led to a spacious, yet somehow cramped living room with overstuffed chairs and a fireplace that Victor would die for. He liked the thought of Yuri growing up in a nice place.

Victor and Nikolai sat across from each other, both watching the other and pretending not to. It was tense and Victor didn’t like it. He fidgeted, bit his lip, looked around the room. He wondered if this was part of Nikolai’s plan to make him uncomfortable. If so, it was working. Until…

“What does Yuri know?” He bit his lip, startled at how loudly his voice had sounded in the empty room.

Mr. Plisetsky sighed, “Nothing, unless you’ve told him anything.”

“I haven’t.”

There was a nod.

“Are you…” Victor didn’t know how to approach the subject. “Planning to?”

“Eventually. I didn’t think we would run into you.”

“Not part of the plan?”

Mr. Plisetsky said nothing, only narrowed his eyes and Victor swallowed hard. 

Then again. 

And…his throat felt tight again and as he reached up to push his hair away from his eyes, he found tears. Tears? 

“You miss him.”

Victor nodded, wiping away any stray tears and taking in a deep breath. “I do. I miss my brother.” When he saw Mr. Plisetsky open his mouth in protest, Victor sped up, “and I know, I know he’s not my brother but he was. He was for four years, and even you can’t take that from me!” He covered his mouth with his hand. “I’m sorry.”

Mr. Plisetsky held up a hand, dismissing the apology.

“I just…” Victor wished he could stop talking. “I miss him. My brother. I want to be in his life again.” God, how much he wanted that. He wanted his brother back, his family back. “I look at him and I want to cry because I know that he doesn’t know me as I know him. I taught him how to skate, you know.” He wiped away at a tear that had somehow made it’s way down his cheek. “And I used to read to him and he would come to me when he had bad dreams. And he had this little laugh.” He laughed bitterly. “It’s the same, you know. It hasn’t changed.”

“Yura has changed.”

Victor shook his head. “A little. Not a lot. He’s still my brother.”

“He was never your brother.” Mr. Plisetsky looked upset, “He was never——”

“He was!”

The room went silent and both men watched each other. 

“I don’t…” Mr. Plisetsky shook his head a little and Victor saw sadness in his eyes for a moment. “I don’t think Yura is ready for another family right now.”

Defeat. 

Now there was a strong word. A word that burned and bit and tore and weighed a million pounds.

“I think you should go, Victor.”

Soft words, but they were still sharp. They cut his heart.

“Yeah,” Victor whispered towards the carpet. “Yeah, alright.” He stood and he watched his feet as he made his way to the door. There, he stopped and turned around.

“Nikolai.”

The man looked up and met his eyes.

“Is this how you felt? When you came to take my brother?”

Nikolai didn’t say a word.

“You know, missing him and wanting him back and not wanting anyone else to have him?”

There was a nod.

“But here’s the thing. You got to have him in your life. You got to watch him grow up.” He kicked softly at the heavy door. “Can I tell you something? It hurts.”

“I know.” 

“Do you?” 

“Yes.”

Victor paused for a moment. “I’m sorry I’ve been hating you.” He was. “I hated you from the moment I saw you, you know. And when you left? That’s when I hated you the most. But I can’t anymore. You’ve done so much and he’s so happy with you and I can’t hate you when you’ve loved him.”

Victor bit his lip. 

“I can’t hate what he loves.”

And he left.

*****

You: I think I made a mistake. I think I’ve lost him.  
Yuuri: I’ll be right over.

*****

15 minutes later, a knock sounded at Victor’s door.

Dragging himself off of the couch, he managed to make it to the door while staying upright as he wiped at his wet cheeks.

It had barely taken three minutes after his door had closed after him that he had broken down. It had hurt. He lay on the couch, not even having the energy to make the trek to his bedroom as he cried. His heart ached and his throat ached and his head ached and there was a waterfall down his cheeks. 

The knock on the door startled him, and it took a minute before he remembered Yuuri’s promise of coming by. 

The door opened to a cheerful looking skating instructor, large gray sweater almost swallowing him whole. “I brought wine. You want to get drunk?”

Victor nodded and opened his door wider to allow Yuuri inside. A part of him was thrilled that Yuuri cared enough to come by to comfort him, but it was small compared to the hurt that was taking over Victor’s mind. 

“I also brought a movie, if you want to watch something.” Yuuri held out a DVD case that looked about as old as he did. “It’s one of those happy ending, romance movies. You down?”

Again, Victor nodded. He let himself drop down onto his couch, pulling a blanket tight around his shoulders. Yuuri was nice to have around, he decided. Happiness followed him around like a stray dog. A stray dog named happiness. Victor smiled softly to himself as he imagined it.

“Do you have wine glasses?”

“I don’t think so. I have regular glasses.”

Yuuri shrugged, “It’ll do.” He stopped Victor from where he made to stand, “I got it. Where are they?”

Victor directed him from his seat on the couch, not bothering to turn his head to watch Yuuri. They poured their wine, a lot more than they probably should have, and Yuuri started the movie. 

It was a cheesy, predictable sort of movie with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan and Victor let himself get sucked into the story line. It was easy to forget with Yuuri beside him. Blankets filled the steadily shrinking space between them and the wine made Victor’s head fuzzy and his stomach warm. 

He watched as Meg Ryan fell in love with the man that she emailed and wondered if Yuuri could somehow love him that much. It was a nice thought, and Victor focused on that and not the ever creeping up feeling of loss that had yet to leave him.

“Yuuri.” 

“Hm?” Yuuri somehow seemed less tipsy than Victor, but not by much.

“I think I’m going to lose my brother again.”

Yuuri stayed quiet, but he turned down the volume of the movie, which Victor thought was a damn shame because he was starting to get interested. He picked up the remote and paused it, not wanting to miss any of it. 

“My brother.” He said again, trying to get his thoughts together so that they made sense. “I lost him a long time ago. Foster brother.” He corrected himself for the sake of clarity, “He was my foster brother. His grandpa showed up one day and he was gone.” Victor swallowed hard. Why was it still hard to talk about? Yuri was back in his life, or at least he had been. “And I missed him.”

Yuuri nodded, his face serious. 

“I found him again.” Victor couldn’t stand to look at Yuuris face anymore and he instead watched the frozen face of Tom Hanks smiling down at his dog. Brinkley. “And he doesn’t remember me.”

“The person from your childhood that you mentioned before?”

“Yeah.” Victor sighed and set his empty cup on the coffee table, pulling the blanket up to his chin. “Yeah. Him. I went to talk to his grandfather today to ask if…to ask if I could talk to my brother again.”

“You’ve talked to him recently though, right? You said——”

“Yes, but not with him knowing that I’m his brother.” Victor pointed out. “I want to talk to my brother. Right now he’s just Yuri.”

Yuuri nodded, then frowned. “Yuri?”

It took Victor a moment to remember that he wasn’t planning on telling Yuuri about the whole thing. At least not in this much detail. “Yes.”

“Your brother.” Yuuri set his own glass down, “Is Yuri Plisetsky?”

“Is that his last name?”

Yuuri nodded.

“Then yes.”

For a moment, they let silence creep in between them, making itself comfortable in their shared blankets. 

“And he doesn’t know?”

Victor shook his head. “When I asked Mr. Plisetsky——his grandfather——if I could be a part of his life again, he said,” He pulled in a breath. “He said Yuri wasn’t ready for another family right now. But——but he’s my brother.”

“Your foster brother?”

“No!” Victor pulled at his hair where it reached down to touch his face. “Sorry. No. He’s my brother. That’s it.” He knew that he wasn’t making sense with the contradictions, but honestly, he was confused. Yes, technically, Yuri had been his foster brother, but the need for an actual brother seemed to outweigh the facts. There had been a point when he was younger where he had just decided that Yuri——Roman, at that point——was his brother and that there was nothing that could change that. Now, he wondered if he was just setting himself up for hurt, even at that young age.

“Alright,” Yuuri took one of Victor’s hands in both of his. “Alright.”

“And now, I don’t think I’ll be able to see him anymore. What if he doesn’t come to Grand Prix anymore? What if he’s not allowed near me? He’ll always believe his grandfather over me. I’m just some guy at an ice cream shop.”

“I don’t think you’re just some guy at an ice cream shop.”

Victor laughed bitterly. “I need more wine.”

Yuuri grabbed the bottle. “Coming right up.”

*****

It was late. The sun had set a long time ago and the only light was that of the tv as they aimlessly flipped through channels. The movie had ended and Victor had smiled. Everything had worked out between Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. There had been a happy ending.

At some point during the end credits, they had ended up pressed together on the couch, blankets still surrounding them but without the space between them. Victor had to tell his heart to slow down, worried for a moment that Yuuri would hear it.

“I should go soon.” Yuuri muttered, the remote still in his hand as he lay with his head on Victor’s shoulder. He made no move to get up. 

“You can’t drive.” Victor took the remote out of his friend’s hand and left the channel on some kids movie. “You’ve had too much to drink.”

“I’ll call an Uber.”

“Why don’t you just stay here?”

Yuuri paused for a moment, before shrugging. “It’s your house.”

“I can take the couch, if you’d like.” Victor offered, shifting so that they fit better together without the elbows and knees digging into each other. “You can take my bed.”

“Mmmm.”

“Or we could just stay here.” The movie was just starting. “On the couch.”

“That’s a good plan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a lot to do and I have time but when I have time to write, I don't want to. I just want to watch movies and not do homework and stuff. And when I DO want to write, it turns into planning for NaNo (which i'm HYPED FOR) and this story is fading out and I'm saddened by that.  
> Anyway. Hope you have a nice week! Comments and Kudos are appreciated and they keep me going and make me happy and yadda yadda yadda  
> tumblr: @attemptingauthor


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, sorry! Announcements at the end of the chapter!

Yuri didn’t show up to Grand Prix the next day, and Victor failed in telling himself that it wasn’t because of him. 

Mr. Plisetsky had probably told him not to come back. “That kid’s trouble,” Victor imagined him telling Yuri, “don’t go near him.”

It was a daydream, but it still hurt quite a bit.

When he had first shown up, Mila had teased him for being hungover and sad——“A good combination for a shitty day” as she had put it——but after the mood had stayed and he didn’t respond to her teasing, she apologized. It wasn’t very sincere, but Victor didn’t care.

*****

Victor fell on the ice six times before he angrily pulled off his skates and sat at the bench with his headphones. He had little hope for the music to distract him, as even skating had done nothing, but he tried anyway.

After half an hour, Yuuri came off the ice and sat beside him.

They didn’t talk, but Victor offered one of his headphones to Yuuri and they sat beside each other and listened.

*****

Victor was in the middle of a muted panic when Yuri showed up to Grand Prix the next day.

He had been sorting the toppings in the back, doing his best to keep his mind off the fact that he might have had a significant part in keeping Yuri away from himself. It was a distracting thought, one that he didn’t really care for but couldn’t quite avoid. 

It was like a car crash, how he wanted to look away, get away, avoid, but somehow, his mind kept coming back to it. Like poking at a blister, he couldn’t stop.

He didn’t even register the bell above the door until Mila yelled at him to get to the front.

Yuri looked different. 

Their eyes met across the store and Victor tried to smile, he he feared it probably came out as more of a grimace of pain than anything. 

Yuri did the same as he sat down at the counter, as usual. He didn’t have homework.

“Rocky Road?” Victor asked, already scooping the ice cream and Yuri nodded.

They didn’t talk as Victor placed the cup in front of him. 

Yuri seemed nervous, but Victor figured it was just because he was acting weird again. He did his best to help other people in the shop, but as it was fairly empty, he found himself back behind the counter, as usual. Only this time, he could think of nothing to say.

“I talked to my Grandpa yesterday.”

Victor froze, sure that his heart did as well. “Yeah?” his throat hurt, and he didn’t think he could stand to hear Yuri telling him that they had to stop hanging out. He didn’t think he could take that.

“I think I always kind of wanted it to be you.”

Victor swallowed hard. 

“I didn’t think it could be you, but I wanted it to be you. So badly.”

A tear hit Victor’s chin, and it was only then that he realized that there were in fact, tears falling. 

And then he was around the counter and then he was crying and then he was holding his brother in his arms and then he was okay.

“Roman.” He didn’t think he said it out loud, but Yuri stiffened. “I’m sorry. Yuri.”

Yuri, Yuri, Yuri, Yuri.

His Yuri. Yurio. Yurachka. Yura.

It was surreal. There he stood, in his Grand Prix apron and hungover body and tearful eyes and he was hugging his brother. His baby brother who he was sure that he lost. And Yuri was hugging him back.

“I missed you every day.” Victor managed, pulling back a little to look his brother in the eyes. His brother. His brother. “Did you know that? I thought about you every single day.”

“Wow, you creep.” Yuri laughed, his eyes wet. He was happy, Victor could tell, but still wary. Worried. Not trusting. It made Victor’s heart hurt.

“I have—” Victor pulled his wallet from his pocket, doing his best to move so that he didn’t have to be that far away from Yuri. “I have a picture.”

It had stayed in his wallet from the moment he had started carrying one, a faded, ripped up picture of the two of them. Smiling and laughing like the children that they were, arms wrapped around each other like they never planned on letting go. And they hadn’t.

He handed the picture to Yuri, who received it with shaking hands. 

And it was like he just stopped for a few moments. He stood still in Victor’s arms, his hands gently but desperately holding onto the picture. He held it like it was precious.

“Are you okay, Yurio?”

The kid didn’t even protest at the nickname, only bothering to shoot a distracted nod in Victor’s direction. His eyes stayed glued to the picture.

“I barely remembered what you looked like.” Yuri admitted. He sounded sorry. “And your parents. I can’t remember their faces. You were almost gone, I think.” He looked up from the picture and Victor was only a little surprised to see tears on his cheeks, although his voice stayed even. “I remember what you looked like I was little, but I could never imagine what you’d look like now.” Looking back at the picture, he traced the smiling faces of the two kids. “I don’t have any pictures.”

A part of Victor crumbled. None? He voiced his concerns to Yuri, who only shrugged. 

“Leaving was hard, but I got used to it. I think missing your family and having them around would have made it worse.”

He sounded so insensitive, so careless, and Victor did his best not to feel even slightly offended at that. It didn’t matter. His brother was back. 

At that thought, he pulled Yuri back into his arms. Yuri laughed, still holding the picture and letting himself be hugged. 

“I’m working hard enough for both of us!” Mila yelled from across the shop, watching them curiously.

Admittedly, Grand Prix in the middle of a rush hour was probably not the best place for a reunion. Especially when it happened while Victor was supposed to be working.

“I can’t work today!” Victor yelled back, finally letting Yuri go but still finding himself watching him in fascination. “I’m too happy!”

“Be happy to serve ice cream!” She laughed, wiping down a table. “I don’t know what happened with you two,” She gestured between them and held up a hand when they both opened their mouth’s to explain. “Save it. I don’t really care, but you do need to be working.” 

Victor sighed, “Yeah, yeah, I’ll get to it.”

Mila left them, muttering under her breath about taking care of children and Yuri snorted.

“I do need to get back to work.” Victor told Yuri, disappointment welling up in his chest. 

“Yeah,” He tried not to seem too excited when Yuri looked just as annoyed. “I should get home too.”

“Is your…is your grandfather okay with me being around you?” The question had been eating at Victor and he didn’t think he could take another day of not knowing. “He didn’t seem that happy to see me when I saw him last.”

Yuri shrugged, “Dedushka doesn’t really like anyone.”

Victor raised his eyebrow.

“Okay,” Yuri caved, “But he might not like you a little more than he does most people.”

Victor sighed. “I thought so. I’ll just have to prove to him that I can be a good role model.”

“A good older brother maybe?”

“Fuck.” Victor hadn’t been a brother in years. It was surprising to hear it. 

“You should start by not saying fuck as often.”

Groaning, Victor tipped his head back and pinched the bridge of his nose. “He doesn’t think I taught you to swear, right?”

Yuri shook his head, his hair whipping around as he did so. “No, I picked that up years ago.” He snickered, “I think he’s just given up on trying to get me to stop.”

“I don’t blame him.”

Yuri laughed and Victor’s heart melted. He noticed that Yuri still held his picture in his hands. Careful, as if it were a butterfly. “You can take that picture home.”

Yuri’s eyes went round. “Yeah?”

“I have more at home. I’ll bring some tomorrow, yes?”

The excited nod that Yuri gave him was enough to have him grinning.

When Yuri finally got around to leaving, there was only a few moments of hesitation before he stepped up to Victor with his arms open for a hug. There was hesitation written across his face and tension in his arms, but it melted away when Victor pulled him in close.

“I will not leave again, Yuri.” He said, the words sitting quietly between them. “I will not leave you.”

Yuri didn’t answer, only tightened his hug around Victor for a moment before turning around and leaving, not even a goodbye thrown over his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello to the like, three people reading this lmao I'm going on a little break cause SCHOOL and writing and things are getting crazy. I have no time for extra fun stuff so I will finish this at some point, but without the added stress of updating, hopefully I'll be a little less spread out. So thanks to the people who have been reading! It means a lot.   
> tumblr: @attemptingauthor


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> for anyone who doesn't want to go back and see what happened last since it's been like, ages since i last uploaded something: Yurio found out that Victor was his brother and there was a nice little reunion   
> sorry it's been a long time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey  
> i'm back   
> nice to see ya

“Yuuri!”

“Victor, are you alright?” Yuuri sounded concerned, “You never call.”

“I’m fine, I’m great!” Victor was breathless, sitting on his living room floor with old pictures surrounding him, “Yuuri, I talked to him.”

There was a pause, “Him?”

“Yurio!”

Again, a pause before, “Victor, oh my god! That’s amazing!”

Victor laughed, leaning back against the couch with the phone still pressed to his ear. “I got to hug him and talk to him and I showed him a picture.” He smiled at the memory, “I’m going to bring him more tomorrow.”

“I’m so happy for you, Vicchan, I’m sure he’s just as happy about it as you are.”

His smile faltered a bit at the words and he gently placed the picture in his hand back on the floor. “What did you call me?”

“Call you…?” Victor could almost hear Yuuri’s frown of confusion over the phone and he couldn’t help but smile as he pictured it. “What did I…oh.” 

“Yuuri?”

“I’m sorry, it was kind of a nickname.” He sounded flushed, “That was weird, wasn’t it? I made it weird.”

“No, no, it’s fine!” Victor was smiling and he couldn’t stop. It was starting to hurt, but he didn’t mind. “It’s alright, Yuuri, I promise.”

Yuuri laughed softly on the other side, “I don’t normally talk on the phone.”

“Me neither.” 

Their voices were soft and unsure and happy and gentle. Whispers.

“I’m really happy for you, about you and Yurio.”

“Me too.” Victor picked at the fabric on the couch. “What was that nickname? Vicchan?”

There was a soft laugh and Victor felt his heart melt. “Vicchan.”

Were they actually at the nickname level of their friendship?

“You said you’re going to bring Yurio pictures tomorrow? Of you when you were little?”

Victor nodded, despite knowing that Yuuri couldn’t see him. “I have a lot. I’ve always kept them with me.”

“You love him a lot, don’t you.”

It wasn’t really a question.

“You don’t even know.”

It wasn’t really an answer.

*****

Yurio was rather withdrawn the next day, but when asked about it, he shrugged and forced a smile. Victor had decided not to push it, especially when Yurio lit up at the stack of pictures that he pulled out of his bag.

“You’ve had all of those with you?” His eyes were huge and his smile was glowing.

Victor smiled, “Mom gave them to me a few days after you left. They’ve been in a shoebox for years now.” He laid them out on the counter as he grabbed his apron. “No school today? You’re early.”

“Grandpa called me in sick today after I told him about yesterday.” Yurio was red, but he smiled all the same. “He said I could spend some time with you if you wanted.”

“Of course!” Victor hadn’t thought he’d have any time with his brother. He smiled. His brother. “Here, these are the doubles that I have.” He tapped a few of the pictures, “You can keep these.”

Yuri pulled in a breath. “Yeah?” He gently touched the picture of Victor’s parents holding Victor’s hand and holding Yuri in their arms between them. He looked like he was hurt. “Okay.”

“I uh, I talked to my parents last night.” Victor wasn’t quite sure how Yuri would take the news, seeing as he had only found Victor the day before. “They really want to meet you.”

“Me?”

“Who else?” Victor laughed, “Yes, you. They miss you.”

“Oh.” Yuri pulled in a deep breath.

“They’re going to be in town in a week or so, would you want to come meet us for dinner?” Apprehension built in Victor’s chest. Yuri seemed unsure. Maybe Nikolai was correct when he had said Yuri wasn’t ready for another family. Maybe it was just too much. “You don’t have to.” He rushed to correct himself, “If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. This is up to you.”

Yuri hesitated for only a moment, before he nodded. “Okay. Sounds fun.”

“Wonderful!” Victor grinned, “Can Nikolai come? He’s very welcome——”

“No.” Yuri was firm, “I’ll go alone.”

“A-alright.” The answer was so final. “That’s fine. I’ll give you details when I find them out, okay? They’re really excited to see you again.”

Yuri nodded, his attention shifting towards the pictures again. Victor watched in awe as his brother picked up a few of the pictures, studying them like they held the secrets of the universe. He looked sad.

“Are you okay?” The last thing Victor wanted was to cause Yurio unnecessary hurt over old memories. “Yurio?”

“I’m fine.” He rolled his eyes, but smiled a little. It was sharp. “I’m fine.”

Dismissing it as returning memories and feelings, Victor only patted his shoulder and went to work.

*****

Yuri showed up early before the dinner. Victor could tell that he was nervous, despite his usual scowl. 

“You live here?”

Victor laughed, “It’s nice, admit it.”

“I was expecting you to live under a bridge in a cardboard box.” Yuri walked slowly around the house, stopping to stare at pictures whenever he found them. He didn’t touch any of them, but he went silent as he looked at each one. Victor watched from afar, not willing to break the soft silence that had settled in the room.

“What if they don’t like me?” Yuri hadn’t looked up, from a picture, but his hands were shoved into the front pockets of his jacket, showing off the tension in his shoulders. “They liked 6 year old me, but what if they don’t like 16 year old me?” He was quiet for a little and before Victor could reassure him, he continued. “I swear a lot.”

Victor’s heart hurt when he saw the worry on his brother’s face. “They’ll love you. Swearing and all.”

Yuri smiled a little, but it wasn’t sincere. He was worried.

“Yurachka.” Yuri looked up at the use of the nickname. “You don’t need to worry. They’re going to love you no matter what, okay? You meant so much to them——to us——and you still do. Why do you think we still have all these pictures lying around?”

Yuri shrugged, “Maybe you have attachment issues.”

The blank, monotonous tone made Victor laugh, which in turn made Yuri laugh. It was a good feeling, and they almost missed the sound of a knock at the door. Immediately, Yuri tensed up again.

“It’ll be alright.” Victor promised as he went to get the door. “Don’t worry.”

The door was opened in a whirlwind of happy greetings and hugs that seemed to go on forever. Only a few tears were shed, but Victor wasn’t going to own up to anything.

It was odd seeing both Yuri and his parents back in the same room. So many times he had imagined them meeting again and living almost this exact scene, but it still felt like it was only a dream as he watched his brother get swallowed up by hugs and questions.

When he saw that Yuri was starting to tense up a little, he ushered everyone into the living room as a distraction, patting himself on the back a little for being able to read Yuri’s body language.

After he made sure everyone was comfortable in the living room, Victor retreated into the kitchen to get the rest of the food ready. He stopped at the doorway, though, watching as his mother took Yuri’s hands in hers and whispered something that made the teenager smile.

Victor’s heart swelled and he had to duck into the kitchen before he made his adoration for the whole family audible.

*****

“It was so weird to see him with them, Yuuri.” Victor laughed softly as he remembered all of them together in one room. “Like, two worlds colliding.”

Yuuri reached over between them with the hand that wasn’t on the steering wheel and held Victor’s. “It sounds wonderful.” 

Victor and Yuuri’s most recent date had gone well, at least in Victor’s opinion, although he did feel partially bad for talking about Yurio for almost the entire time. Yuuri was graceful in his patience, though, and had talked along with Victor for the entire time. 

“I really want to be in his life again.” Victor said softly, squeezing Yuuri’s hand and pressing his forehead against the cold window. “I really want to be his brother again.”

“I know,” Yuuri whispered back. They were both afraid to break the quiet that had settled over the car. “But he wants you there. You’re working things out.”

Victor nodded against the window, watching the blurs of the traffic colors as they drove. They let silence settle, until: “I really want to be in your life too.”

It was a confession, a longing, a daydream that had yet to leave Victor’s lips. His eyes widened when he realized what he had said, but he didn’t take it back. 

“I really want to be in your life too, Victor.”

Victor smiled against the window, his cheeks lighting up in a blush as he felt Yuuri press a kiss to his knuckles. It wasn’t a new gesture, but it certainly hadn’t gotten old. The butterflies in Victor’s chest were in no way calmer than they had been the first time it had happened.

He pulled his head up from the window, looking over to Yuuri. The man was beautiful, and Victor’s breath hitched for a moment as he watched the skating instructor watching the road.  
“Yuuri?”

“Hm?” Yuuri didn’t look away from the road, but a smile played on his lips like it was deciding whether or not to stay.

“Pull over.”  
“Why?”

“I want to kiss you.”

The smile stayed and the car pulled over.

Yuuri leaned across the seats and cocked his head a little. “You’re very forward tonight, aren’t you?”

Victor shrugged, “I’ve been trying to think of a way to kiss you all night, I figured I’d just have better luck if I asked you outright.”

“Well.” Yuuri leaned closer still eliminating almost all the space that separated them. “I’d say your luck is pretty good then.”

*****

They drove with their hands grasped tight in between them, smiles on their faces, and something akin to love in their hearts. 

*****

It was later than usual when Victor finally left the skate rink, a smile still on his face from when Yuuri had hugged him tight right before he left.

He was happy, and although it wasn’t really a new feeling, it felt different. The additions of Yurio and Yuuri in his life were small, but they brought him a sense of joy that he had never really felt before. It was a feeling of warmth and reassurance and love and he was drunk with the feeling.

Speaking of drunk…

He squinted out the window at a brightly lit gas station, where someone stood slumped against the front sign. They were holding a bottle and looked about ready to fall over into the street and as Victor watched, they did. Stumbling forward off the curb with an unsurprising lack of coordination.

“Goddamnit.” Victor pulled the car over to the side of the road and ran across the thankfully empty street to the drunk. “Hey!” he called out as he approached, “What are you doing, man? You’re gonna get yourself hurt!”

“Victor!” The words were slurred and mumbled, but they made Victor’s blood run cold for a moment when he heard them.

“Yurio?”

“Don’ call me that.” Yuri staggered on his feet and Victor rushed forward to hold him up and guide him out of the street. “Jus’ kidding. Like it when you call me that.”

“Yuri what the hell are you doing out here? Drunk?” he pulled the bottle out of Yuri’s hand and placed it down on the curb. “You’re too young to drink.”

“You’re too young to drink.” Yuri imitated, giggling softly to himself. 

Victor sighed, “Come on, I’m taking you home.” He led his brother back to his car, helping him in the front seat and buckling him up. It bothered him to see Yuri so wasted, but he refrained from commenting until they were both buckled up and he was driving again.

“Why did you do this?”

Yuri shrugged, “I wanted to.”

“Has this happened before?”

“No.”

“So why now?”

“Why not now?”

Victor groaned in frustration, shooting glares of annoyance and worry at Yuri. “You could have been killed.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Does Otabek have anything to do with this?” He couldn’t help it, he had to ask. 

Yuri went red and his mood changed in a second, “No!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

Victor eyed him, “I’m worried about you.”

“Don’t be.” Yuri crossed his arms over his chest and stuck his chin out, gazing out the window. “M’fine.”

“Alright.” Victor decided that it wasn’t his right to push for more questions, at least not yet. He had been Yuri’s brother again for only a few weeks and although he was worried, it wasn’t like he had much of a say in anything in Yuri’s life. “Alright.”

He watched as Yuri curled into himself against the window, his hands clutching at the seat belt. He must have passed out, because it took a little while to rouse him when Victor finally arrived at Nikolai’s house. 

“Yuri. Yurachka, wake up.” He shook the boy’s shoulder, but Yuri only grumbled and shoved him away. Not in the mood to argue, Victor crossed to the other side of the car and opened up Yuri’s door. “Yuri. Wake up.”

When he didn’t, Victor unbuckled him and picked him up, surprised to find how light he really was. He could pick him up easily, and he shut the door with his foot as he made his way to Nikolai’s front door. 

He kicked the door a few times, jostling Yuri a little to keep him at least a little awake before they got inside.

When Nikolai opened the door, he only looked at Yuri for a moment and sighed before ushering Victor inside. He didn’t look surprised to see them, which struck Victor as odd and it worried him. Was this a regular occurrence for Yuri? He hoped not.

“Put him on his bed.” Nikolai led the way down the hall towards an open door. The room was messy and dark and exactly what Victor would have guessed his room would look like. Books and clothes were scattered on every available space and Nikolai simply shoved a pile of stuff off of Yuri’s bed and pulled back the blankets.

Victor laid Yuri down on the bed, standing back as he watched Nikolai pull off Yuri’s shoes and jacket before pulling the blankets up to his chin. Victor backed out of the room and went to stand in the living room instead. 

When Nikolai entered the room, Victor scrambled, “I don’t know why he was drunk or what he was doing, I found him on the side of the road——”

Nikolai held up a hand and Victor went quiet. “I know you are not at fault.” His voice sounded rough and emotional and Victor wished that he was anywhere else in the world at that moment, “I know you only want to protect him.”

Victor nodded.

“Thank you for bringing him home.”

Again, Victor nodded. 

He left without exchanging any more words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELP  
> I wanted to put SOMETHING up since it's been so long but there's still a little break from this happening because FINALS ARE SCARY and also I'm very stressed and busy and I accidentally wrote a bunch of fanfiction instead of studying for my Psych final so here you go. idk when something else will go up because i have no idea what my schedule is at the moment hahahahahahaha ok.  
> So thank you to everyone who read this either from when I was uploading on time or who binge read it, I thank you for taking time out of your day to read this lmao   
> Please leave me a comment if you're actually still reading this lol that would be very nice and make a poor stressed kid smile :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao heyyyyyyyyy ya'll guess who's back   
> Okay, explanation: I was not intentionally not writing, I was busy???? Ish???? and tried to write other stuff and was overwhelmed by homework and I still am but I finished some stuff today and thought why tf not write some fanfiction so here we are.  
> I'm SO very sorry to keep ya'll waiting (by ya'll i mean like the five of you who read my last chapter) but I'M TRYING!!
> 
> pls enjoy

Yuri didn’t show up to Grand Prix the next day.

*****

When he did show up, he spent most of the day with his attention on his ice cream and his homework, opting to avoid any conversation that could lead to a possible lecture. 

Although he wanted to give one, Victor knew that he really didn’t have much of a say in what Yuri did and didn’t do. He wasn’t legally related to him, had only known him for a few months, and he hadn’t seen him since he was 12. He had no right to be lecturing Yuri about his life when, in reality, he really knew nothing about it.

It hurt to think about, but it was fair. 

*****

Victor was still amazed at the presence of Yuuri in his life. 

He had texted Yuuri that he had nothing planned for the evening, thinking that maybe they could go out for coffee or something, but Yuuri had texted him back half an hour later with tickets for a drive in movie.

Victor was blown away, but he was also unable to keep the grin from crawling onto his face. Lucky, lucky him. 

*****

Victor was positive, 100% sure, that he had never felt more in love with anyone as much as he was in love with Katsuki Yuuri. Sitting there in his car, their hands lazily intertwined, with Victor watching Yuuri watch the movie. 

The man was distracting and Victor found his eyes glued to the beautiful man that he called his best friend and realizing at that moment how much Yuuri meant to him. He was the physical embodiment of trust and understanding and care and love.

How had he managed to survive so long without Yuuri by his side? Without that gentle laugh and those bright eyes and restless hands that always seemed to wander over to rest against Victor’s own. 

“Vitya?”

Jerked back into the present, Victor’s face broke into a smile as his eyes met Yuuri’s.

“Sorry.” He brought Yuuri’s hand up against his mouth and pressed a kiss to the back of it. “I got distracted.”

“What were you thinking about?”

The movie played on in the background and Victor thought for a moment how cinematic the whole scene must be. The two of them, holding hands in the car, the movie playing…

“You.”

The answer elicited a blush from Yuuri and a laugh from Victor. 

Joy. Love. Maybe a hope for the certainty of both?

“I would say I was thinking of you too,” Yuuri beamed up at Victor in a way that should have been illegal, “But I’ll admit that I was distracted by the movie.” He pulled Victor’s hands closer and the rest of him followed. “Now though, now I’m distracted by you.” He leaned forward to kiss Victor’s forehead and the latter swore he could probably melt.

“You’re too good for me.” 

“Baby, I’m afraid to inform you that you’re very wrong about that.” 

Victor laughed. 

Logically, he knew that they were being disgustingly sentimental together. Had it been him observing them, he knew that he would probably be less than pleased to be trapped in a small space with them, but as it were, he was more than happy staying in their little happy bubble together. 

Their bubble that was slowly closing in…

Was Yuuri leaning in?

Was Victor?

His eyes danced up to Yuuri’s, trying to get a read on the situation and the half hooded eyes that his met were more than a giveaway. In the few seconds before their lips met, Victor had time to appreciate how perfect their first kiss would be.

It was soft, gentle, romantic——everything that he loved about their relationship.

They were so close, right about to——

Victor’s phone rang and they sprang apart like they had been burned.

“Oh!” Yuuri immediately laughed at the interruption, politely leaning back in case Victor chose to answer the phone. His cheeks were red and he looked embarrassed.

“Shit. Sorry.” Victor pulled the phone out of his pocket and ended the call, not even bothering to look at the caller ID. “Bad timing.”

Damn it. Damn it all. Who the hell was trying to call him so late at night? And out of the entire night, why this exact minute?!

Yuuri’s hand found his own again and Victor let out a breath. Of course this wouldn’t ruin the night. He was being ridiculous in thinking that a single interruption would change Yuuri’s mind about the whole date.

“Unless you’re planning on calling back,” Yuuri was near laughter, but he held it back, much to Victor’s chagrin. “I’d be more than happy to pick up where we left off.”

It felt more familiar this way, laughing and fumbling and figuring each other out in the way that they always did and both relaxed. 

“And where exactly were we?”

This brought about another laugh, but it was cut off by another ringing of Victor’s phone.

This time, the laugh wasn’t held back in the slightest as Victor grabbed the phone in annoyance. As much as he enjoyed Yuuri’s uninhibited laughter at the situation, he was actually enjoying what the call had interrupted and wasn’t all that pleased by the somehow unintentional cockblock that his phone provided.

“I’m sorry——”

“Answer it!” Yuuri was still laughing. “They’ll just keep on calling!”

With a sigh, Victor looked down at his still ringing phone. It wasn’t a number that he knew. Prank caller? Wrong number twice in a row? Yuuri watched him expectantly as he slid the icon across the screen and answered it.

“Hello, who is this?”

“Mr. Nikiforov?” The voice sounded professional.

“Yes, who is this?”

Yuuri was watching him with his head cocked to the side and Victor distractedly thought that it was the cutest thing he’d ever seen. 

“This is St. Peter’s hospital. You know the Plistetsky family, yes?”

Victor’s blood ran cold. “I—uh, yes?” He turned to see Yuuri watching him with a question in his eyes. Victor’s chest was constricting. “What happened? Is he…?”

He.

“We’re going to need you to come down to the hospital as soon as you can, sir.” Despite the serious voice, there was an air of uncaring that came along with most hospital workers, in Victor’s opinion. It made his heart stutter and his eyes sting.

“I’ll be right there.”

The phone hung up with a click that sounded like a gunshot.

Something was wrong, something was definitely wrong but what was it? Fear raced through his mind and his hands clenched into fists and his vision blurred. Yuri, Yuri, Yuri Yuri——

He had just gotten him back! He can’t lose him now!

“——tor? Victor!”

Slowly, Yuuri’s voice fought through the haze in his mind and he found himself scrambling for Yuuri’s hand, pressing it to his own face. Vaguely, he felt his chest rising and falling with breaths that came too fast, but he was still having a hard time getting enough air. 

“What happened? Victor, what’s wrong?” Yuuri was panicked, his voice loud——too loud.

“Hospital.” Victor managed out, his fingers fumbling over his seat belt. “Go to the hospital. St. Peter’s. Yuri——” He swallowed hard, “I don’t know what——”

“Shhhh, shhh, I got you.” Yuuri was moving right away, batting away Victor’s scrambling hands and buckling the seat belt for him. “We’ll get there, don’t worry.” He held onto Victor’s hand as tight as he could, while simultaneously exiting the drive in movie, his calm under pressure something to be admired. 

Yuri, Yuri, Yuri, Yuri———

Victor couldn’t think, couldn’t even tell where Yuuri was driving, over the panic that rushed through his mind. His head felt like static and his hand couldn’t seem to fit into Yuuri’s correctly, no matter how many times he repositioned it. His heart tore at itself.

Yuri, Yuri, Yuri, Yuri——-

And they were at the hospital and Victor was out of the car, running towards the building with Yuuri’s promise to park the car and be there soon still ringing in his ears. 

Fear rushed in his veins like blood, and he almost collapsed when he saw Yuri sitting there.

Sitting there in the waiting room, alive and well and okay.

“Yuri.” The words were barely breathed out, but they were enough.

The kid looked up from where he was sat hunched over on one of the waiting room chairs and Victor almost cried when he saw the terrified look on his face. 

His brother hit him hard with a hug that almost knocked Victor over and he grabbed onto the door frame to keep from falling over as Yuri buried his face in Victor’s chest. 

“Hey, kiddo.” Victor whispered, holding his brother tight. “I’m here, it’s okay, you’re okay.”

Yuri shook his head, but didn’t say anything. He was shaking like a leaf and Victor felt helpless. Scared and alone and helpless. With no way to articulate any sort of emotion, Victor wrapped his arm’s tighter around the blond and tried to breathe.

Yuuri came up behind him, questions and relief mixed on his face when he saw the two of them.

“Ask about Nikolai Plisetsky.” Victor whispered over Yuri’s head. “At the counter.”

Yuuri nodded and went off, looking like he wanted to ask more questions. Victor was glad he didn’t. 

“Hey, Yuri?” he rubbed the teenager’s back, slowly getting his breathing under control. “Lets go sit down, yeah? I’m right here with you, kiddo.”

Yuri nodded and moved back a little, still hovering close to Victor’s side. He was worried. The kid was quiet, which for one was alarming, but he also wasn’t responding like he normally would. He followed where Victor went without a word, his eyes stayed trained on the floor as they made their way towards the row of benches that sat against the wall. When he sat, Yuri sat right beside him with their shoulders pressed tight against each others. 

Victor worriedly rubbed at his brother’s shoulder as he watched Yuuri talking to someone over the counter. He looked grim.

When he started back to where Victor and Yuri sat, he shook his head at the questions on Victor’s lips and instead held up his phone.

 

Yuuri: Nikolai had a heart attack. He’s in surgery.

 

Victor’s heart sunk and he unconsciously hugged Yuri tighter to his side. Yuuri sat down on Yuri’s other side and continued to text.

 

Yuuri: They wouldn’t tell me how it’s going. She didn’t like me asking questions. 

 

Victor nodded.

*****

Victor wasn’t sure how long they spent in the waiting room. 

Yuuri had fallen asleep with his head tipped back against the wall and Victor’s phone was dead from the continuous texting that he and Yuuri had shared. Yuri hadn’t moved, other than latching onto Yuuri instead of Victor now. It had taken only a few minutes before he had detached his arms from around Victor and started to slowly lean into Yuuri instead. 

Yuuri’s arm was thrown carelessly around Yuri’s shoulders while he slept, and the teenager was leaning into the touch, if only a little bit. 

Yuri hadn’t cried, as far as Victor knew. He sat and stared at the floor, not even playing with his phone like he normally did. Victor wondered if he even had it with him. As far as he could tell, the kid was awake and just very focused on a certain tile on the floor in front of them. He didn’t talk, didn’t push them off him, didn’t even move. It had him worried.

At one point, Yuuri woke up, a question in his eyes that Victor quickly dismissed with a look. Yuuri’s shoulders slumped, but he kept his arm around Yuri’s shoulders.

They waited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not a "hey i'm back, expect regular updates" sorta thing, this is a "guilt for not finishing a story was eating me alive" sorta thing lmao so I'm here to provide.   
> It has been a crazy few months and lots of stuff happened that was BIG and I'm dealing with it and processing it and it's totes cray cray (i'm sorry I won't say that anymore i promise)  
> So like. If you're actually still reading this could you leave like a little hello comment bc atm I'm imagining myself sitting on a stool under a spotlight with a mic reading out my fanfiction and a bunch of empty chairs staring back at me lmaooooo  
> okay thank you for reading you're great :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I finished writing this story (finally!) so I'll probably be posting chapters like every two days??? Maybe??? I just wanna get started on something new, ya know? Anyway. Enjoy!

Victor was almost asleep when a professional, “Yuri Plisetsky?” sounded right in front of him.

The three of them jumped, having not noticed the doctor that stood in front of them.

“That’s me.” 

They were the first words that Victor had heard Yuri speak in hours and he couldn’t help but breathe a quick sigh of relief. 

“Can I talk to you for a moment?”

The words had Victor’s heart sinking down to his toes and the look that Yuuri gave him over Yurio’s head reflected it as well.

Yuri followed the doctor a few steps away and Victor and Yuuri stood. They knew. There was a feeling that had come into the room with the doctor that was undeniable and scary and had them both bracing for the reaction that was sure to come from Yuri in a moment. 

Yuri yelled.

He screamed and swore and shouted and fought by throwing words.

Victor and Yuuri made their way towards the doctor and the teenager.

“You’re a doctor! You save people! That’s what you fucking do you useless piece of——”

“Yuri.”

“Why didn’t you fucking save him!” 

So much anger. Pain. It hurt Victor to watch.

“Yurio.” Yuuri had his arms around Yuri and was pulling him away, despite the teenager landing quite a few blows on him as he fought.

“No! Let me go!” He fought like an animal, desperate and strong and determined. “Let me see him! Let me——!”

He broke. 

It was the only way to describe it. 

He crumbled in Yuuri’s hold, hands scrambling for purchase against the front of Yuuri’s coat, the tears on his cheeks like waterfalls. 

It was all Victor could do to not break down as well. Instead, he faced the doctor. “Please, tell me what happened.” From the corner of his eye, he watched as Yuuri held the other Yuri in his arms, talking quietly while the younger shook from either tears or anger or fear.

“Nikolai was already in bad health before the heart attack.” The doctor seemed sad, but also numb. He’d seen death before. This wasn’t new to him. “There was not a high chance of him surviving surgery, but there was a higher chance of him not surviving without it.”

“Why am I here though?” Victor couldn’t get it out of his mind. Shouldn’t Yuri have had to call him and not the hospital?

The doctor cocked his head to the side. “You’re listed as a legal guardian of Mr. Plisetsky. You did not know this?”

Legal Guardian. Victor was numb. He shook his head. 

“Oh. Well, you have full custody of Mr. Plistesky, if you choose to keep it.” The doctor seemed just as confused as Victor was. “Unless you would like to place him in the care of a home——”

“No!” God, he couldn’t even think about that. “No. Never.” He glanced back to where Yuuri had Yuri bundled up in his own jacket, arms still wrapped tight around him. Yuuri looked cold, but he didn’t look like he cared. Their eyes met and Yuuri offered a sad, worried look.

“Can I take him home tonight? Yuri. Mr. Plisetsky.”

The doctor nodded, “He is under your care now. Completely.”

Completely. 

God, that word scared him.

“You will need to return to figure out funeral arraignments, though. Preferably tomorrow.”

Victor nodded, distracted. He just wanted to get Yuri home safely and make sure he was okay. “Tomorrow.”

The walk back to the car was quiet, Yuuri shivering as he had given his jacket to Yuri for something to hold on to. Despite this, Yuri still clung tightly to Yuuri’s arm and it took only a few seconds of hesitation before he was climbing into the backseat with the kid while Victor sat at the wheel. 

For a moment, all three of them sat in the silence of the car. Victor’s hands were stuck to the wheel and he heard the ragged breaths of his brother in the seat behind him. A quick glance in the mirror had Victor and Yuuri’s eyes meeting. Yuuri laid his cheek down against Yuri’s head and sighed.

Despite the ragged, horrible emptiness that filled the car, it felt complete. Like they were all there together and they were a family.

And then they were moving and the whole world started up again but the silence stayed. It was palpable almost, spreading uncomfortably through the car. Victor did his best to focus on the road, despite wanting more than anything to be in the backseat with his brother. 

For a brief, horribly ugly moment, he wished that Yuri would go to him for comfort. In the hours they waited, Yuri had stayed stuck beside Yuuri, barely even bothering to glance at Victor after the initial reunion.

No.

No, he couldn’t think like that when Yuri was in a state like this. He had known Yuuri for longer, had probably spent more time with him recently than he had Victor so it was only fair that he went to him for comfort. And who was Victor to take that away from his brother? No, he had to——

“I have a cat.” Yuri’s announcement came as a surprise to all of them, and Victor almost swerved the car in surprise at hearing his brother’s voice.

“A cat?” Yuuri asked softly, making sure to keep his arm within Yuri’s reach as he glanced up at Victor. “At home?”

When Yuri nodded, Victor and Yuuri exchanged worried looks. A cat? Great. Just what they needed.

“We can go get your cat tomorrow.” Victor offered, keeping his voice quiet so as not to disturb the vague sense of calm that had come over the car. “Okay?”

Yuri nodded, but didn’t speak any more. 

Victor had never owned an animal, and if Yuri was actually coming to live with him, he’d have to learn how to take care of the cat as well. It all seemed like too much to deal with, what with the guardianship and the cat and Yuuri and…

No.

Focus on just Yuri right now. 

Yuri is the most important right now.

In the back of his mind, thoughts churned. Thoughts that he knew that he would have to deal with at some point, but he shoved them away for the time being. He could worry about everything when they got home.

When they did eventually arrive at Victor’s house, Yuri was asleep. His cheeks were stained with tears and his hair was a mess and he looked so fucking young that Victor had to fight off the tears that welled in his eyes. 

“I’ll carry him upstairs.” Yuuri offered, and Victor nodded. He hated seeing his brother like this.

As Yuuri lay Yuri down in the guest bedroom, his coat still in the teenager’s grip like a teddy bear, he whispered softly to make sure he stayed asleep. It worked, and Victor pulled off his shoes and socks, just like he had seen Nikolai do when Yuri had shown up drunk a few weeks before. 

“I’m making coffee.” Victor stated after they closed the door to the guest bedroom, “Do you want some?”

Yuuri nodded, massaging his temples as he went to sit down on one of the dining room chairs. They didn’t talk. Victor put a pot of coffee on and sat down across from Yuuri at the kitchen table. Yuuri took his hand.

“I’m his legal guardian.” Victor said softly, listening in wonder as his voice floated around the quiet apartment. “I’m all he has.”

Yuuri nodded and squeezed his hand.

“I don’t——” he cut off, not even sure what he was going to say. They sat in silence until the coffee pot beeped and he got up to grab two mugs. 

They sipped their coffee in silence, not quite meeting each other’s eyes. 

“I’m sorry date night went bad.” 

Yuuri’s whisper breaking the tense silence between them and suddenly Victor was laughing. It was a sort of hysterical yelp, in all accuracy, and as quickly as it had appeared, it left. Yuuri offered a half smile at him and held out his open hand. Victor, deflated, took it in his own and leaned back in the chair.

They sat together in silence for what may as well have been hours and when Yuuri stood with the intention of leaving, Victor only grabbed his wrist and shook his head.

Don’t leave, He tried to explain, without actually saying anything. Please don’t leave me right now.

Yuuri nodded and sat back down, his hand fitting back into Victor’s. “I can take the couch.”

“I’m not sleeping tonight.” Victor told his half empty mug, “You can take my bed.”

Yuuri nodded, but made no move to get up again.

They sat in silence, their minds and hearts full, but not daring to break the facade of calm that had settled over them.

*****

True to his word, Victor drove Yuri back to his grandfather’s house the next day to pick up his cat. The drive over was silent, and Victor knew better than to try and initiate conversation. Yuri hadn’t spoken since his announcement of the cat the night before, and Victor was trying not to worry too much about that. 

He had appeared in the kitchen in the morning, fully dressed and looking very much like someone who was okay. His usual scowl, relaxed posture, and loud colored clothing, but his eyes were empty and cold. Something inside him was broken, but he clearly wasn’t ready to show it. 

He hadn’t eaten breakfast, just pushed the food around on his plate until Victor asked if he wanted to go get his cat. He had nodded and cleaned up his meal without a word, grabbing his phone and standing at the door in seconds.

Yuuri had spent the night over at Victor’s house too, although neither of them had slept. Before Yuri woke up, Yuuri had already left, with a quick hug and forehead kiss staying in Victor’s memory.

“You need to be with your brother right now.” Yuuri had told Victor as he reappeared from Yuri’s room with his coat in hand. “You need time together, and I don’t want to get in the way of that.”

Despite knowing that Yuuri was right, Victor still dragged his feet when it came to saying goodbye at the door. It had felt good to have someone with him last night, someone to hold his hand and tell him that he was okay. Someone who had cared for Yuri like he was his own. 

As they pulled up to Nikolai’s house, Yuri held his breath. Victor stopped the car and watched his brother stare at the house, not daring to say anything for a moment. 

“Yuri?”

And Yuri was breathing again. “Let’s go.”

He didn’t sound sad, or hurt, or anything that Victor was expecting. Just…hollow.

He followed Yuri up the steps to the front door, waiting as his brother fit a key into the lock and let them in. Victor wasn’t expecting the house to be any way changed, and it wasn’t. It looked exactly the same as when Victor had last been there, but it still felt off. Empty with the knowledge that it’s owner was no longer there.

“I’ll find Potya.” Yuri said, and left Victor standing alone in the living room.

Was Potya the cat? He decided that it was logical.

With a sigh, he let himself drop onto the couch. The last time he had sat there, he had been begging Nikolai for a place in Yuri’s life. Now, he had gotten it. All of it. 

“Am I staying with you?” Yuri had appeared in the doorway, his face slightly red and a frown stuck on his features like it was planning on being permanent. “Should I bring clothes?”

“Yes!” Victor stood up from the couch, “Yes, you’ll be staying with me.” He paused, “Is that…okay?”

Yuri shrugged and left the room again.

It hit Victor exactly how unprepared he really was. Practically adopting his estranged brother? And his cat? He didn’t know anything about childcare. What was he going to do?

With a sigh, he pushed against his eyes with the heels of his hands. 

How was he going to be able to take care of Yuri when he had only just begun learning how to take care of himself?

“I’m ready.” Yuri had a cheetah print suitcase beside him and a cat carrier in his arms. 

“Is that all you’re bringing?”

Yuri shrugged, “I didn’t know how long I was going to be staying with you.”

Oh. He probably thought that Victor was going to put him in a home.

With concern taking over most of his mind, Victor crossed the room to Yuri with his arms opened. Yuri took a step back and Victor kept his distance, ignoring the hurt that he felt. “Yurachka, your grandfather has given me custody of you. I’m your official legal guardian.”

Yuri didn’t answer.

To be fair, it probably wasn’t a great moment to spring the news on his brother, but Victor was just as lost in the situation. 

“If you’re okay with it, I’d very much like to have you live with me?” It shouldn’t have been so hard to say, but it was. “I…I want to be in your life.”

Yuri nodded, but his eyes dropped to the floor. He didn’t seem thrilled.

“And…” Victor wasn’t sure how to continue. “I don’t know the choices your grandfather made before…” He coughed, “I don’t know if the house is yours or not, but if it’s not, we can come back to get the rest of your stuff. Is this,” he gestured towards Yuri’s bag, “Enough to last for a while?”

Another nod, and Victor breathed out a sigh of relief. “Okay then. Lets get going.” He grabbed Yuri’s suitcase, letting the teenager take care of the cat carrier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Shout out to those like five people still reading lol I see you   
> I want to start something new, maybe a new pairing? A different AU? This story feels old af and I'm reading back on my writing like eeeeeeesh ok but I can get better. I haven't written in ages???? And I miss it!!  
> So hopefully I'll be writing more!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I GOT MORE FOR YA HERE WE GO FOR SOME MORE FAMILY ANGST PLS ENJOY

“I need to meet with the doctor about funeral arraignments,” Victor told Yuuri after they’d gotten home. “And I need to bring Yuri, but I’m worried about him. What if he explodes again?”

From over the phone, Victor heard Yuuri sigh. “Do you think it would help or hurt if I was there with you?”

For me? Help.

“I don’t know. He trusts you though.” He sighed, “I’ll ask him, hang on.”

He left his bedroom and headed down the hall to the guest bedroom where Yuri was staying. “Yuri? Can I come in?”

There was a faint call of ‘yes’ and Victor found himself looking both fondly and worriedly at his brother. He lay on the bed, the cat curled up next to him and a stack of pictures in his hand. He glanced up at Victor but didn’t say anything.

“We have to talk to the doctor today.” Victor told him softly, “About the funeral.”

Yuri nodded, petting the cat.

“Do you want Katsuki Yuuri to come along? Not to make decisions, just for support.”

Yuri shrugged. “If he wants to.”

Victor wanted to ask more questions, but he remembered Yuuri was still on the line. “Alright. Do you need anything?”

“No.” Yuri muttered, but as Victor was turning to leave, he heard a faint, “Thanks.” As well.

“Of course, Yurachka.”

He asked if Yuuri could come along and hung up with a both hope and apprehension on his mind.

*****

The meeting with the doctor went better than Victor had expected. 

When Yuuri had shown up at the hospital, Victor smiled softly when he saw the tension in Yuri’s shoulders lessen up a little. Apparently, bringing Yuuri along had been a good call.

Yuri had stayed civil and spoke up with his opinions and Yuuri held Victor’s hand and stayed quiet in support.

In all, it went well and Victor left the hospital with relief that at least they had something in order. Now to actually invite people——

Shit.

His parents. 

He still hadn’t called them to tell them what was happening.

Groaning, he left Yuuri and Yuri sitting at the table with mugs full of tea in their hands as he went to call.

“Vitya!” It sounded odd hearing his mother call him by that name after Yuuri had begun to call him that. “How are you?”

“Mom, something’s happened.” Probably not the best way to start a conversation with a worrying mother, but Victor never claimed to be good at talking to people. 

“Are you okay?” She sounded panicked, “What’s happened, is everyone okay? Is Roman hurt?”

“Yuri.” He corrected, “And no, we’re both okay. Just…” he sighed, “Nikolai had a heart attack yesterday. He passed away last night.”

“Oh.” There was a long silence on the line, “How is Yuri?”

“I…I’m worried about him, mama.” Victor sighed, sitting down heavily on his bed, “He’s staying with me, but he’s not talking.”

He could’ve sworn there were tears in his mother’s voice, “Honey, he’s grieving. Do you want us to go over? Help take care of him?”

“No!” He cried, “I’m sorry. But he’s barely handling Yuuri and I right now.”

“Who?”

Right. He hadn’t told them about Yuuri.

“My, uh, my boyfriend.” He said softly. “We can talk about him later. He’s helping take care of Yuri. He’s helping a lot.”

“Alright.” She sighed, almost like she was disappointed. Probably because Victor hadn’t told her about a new boyfriend. “So we should not go to your house?”

“Please,” Victor said, “He’s barely holding it together with us and he’s known us for months now. I don’t think he’d be able to handle more people in the house. I just needed to tell you.”

“I understand.” She sounded sad, “Take care of him for us, okay? Call with news or if you need anything.”

“I will mama.” Victor felt slightly better, “Thank you.”

***** 

Work was slow.

With Yuri moving into Victor’s apartment, he had been picking up extra shifts at Grand Prix to help make sure that his brother was safe and comfortable. It was the only thing on his mind and it was what kept him going as he stayed late to work.

 

Yuuri: He ate a few bites of an apple, but he didn’t leave his room.

 

Victor sighed at the text. Although he was extremely worried about Yuri, Yuuri’s help in the whole situation was far more than Victor could have ever asked for. Since Yuuri’s classes didn’t start until later in the day, he had taken to spending most of the day at Victor’s apartment as a sort of partial guardian of Yuri. It was more than anything Victor could have asked of him, but the two Yuri’s seemed to get along pretty well. Maybe it was the years of skating together that had made them so close. 

Whatever the reason, Yuri didn’t mind Yuuri being at the house when Victor was out. Sometimes he even joined Yuuri on the couch when there was a movie on, although he didn’t go for the physical reassurance that he had sought on the night his grandfather had died.

Between both Yuuri and Victor working their respective jobs, the two of them barely had any time alone together. It was either Victor and Yuri (Usually with a wall or two between them) or Yuuri and Yuri, where he and Victor texted back and forth all day. It was a hard system to get used to, but Victor didn’t care.

Yuri was important to him and Yuri was hurting. That in turn hurt Victor in turn, and to see Yuuri working so hard to help them had caused him to tear up more than once.

 

You: At least he ate a little?  
Yuuri: I guess. I’m worried about him.  
You: Me too. Thank you for being there for him.  
Yuuri: :)

 

Yuuri was too good for him. The fact that he had dropped almost all of his free time to be there for Yuri was something Victor could never thank him enough for. The man was selfless and caring and so full of unconditional love that he couldn’t quite believe that he had somehow landed this guy in his life. 

Victor still had a hard time figuring out Yuri. The kid was upset, but it was hard to help him through it, because he barely spoke a word to either Victor or Yuuri. He rarely left the guest room—which had been renamed to Yuri’s Room——and he barely ate. He didn’t come out of his room for meals that either Victor or Yuuri made and he avoided all conversations when he could. During the night, Victor would sometimes hear him sneaking out of his room and wandering around the house for a little. 

After a few days of this, Victor left his own bed to see what Yuri was doing, and found him sitting cross legged in front of the big window that overlooked the city. He sat in a little patch of moonlight with a stuffed animal tiger in his arms that he had brought with him from home. He didn’t sleep during the two hours that Victor watched him, just stared out the window and hugged the stuffed toy to his chest. He didn’t cry, didn’t move, didn’t sleep. Victor didn’t sleep that night either. He went to work with circles under his eyes and exhaustion in his movements.

Occasionally, when Yuuri or Victor would put on a movie on the living room tv, Yuri would creep out of his room and take a seat on the opposite side of the couch, rarely without a blanket or pillow clutched in his arms. Sometimes, he would fall asleep, which gave both Victor and Yuuri relief in knowing that he actually did sleep.

A few days after coming home from the hospital, Yuuri had shown up with a pile of “parenting your teenagers” books that he had gotten from the library. It was a small gesture, but it meant the world to Victor. He began spending all of his free time poring over the books, trying to figure out how the hell to actually be a good role model for his brother. Finding parenting techniques, taking quizzes, looking up parents blogs online——Victor was desperate. 

He wanted to be there for Yuri, wanted his brother to trust him, but no matter what he tried, Yuri still didn’t talk to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for reading you're very nice and sweet and wonderful i hope you have a wonderful day/night and are getting lots of sleep and are eating well and are surrounded by nice people! best wishes to you!   
> (side note, your comments are making my DAY. I wake up to a little stack of nice messages and it makes me so happy thank you thank you darlings)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyyy I think I missed a day of posting so maybe this is late??? I have no idea, all sense of time has left me. Anyway, here's another chapter, sorry it's short, i got MIDTERMS YO   
> (Yuri and Otabek is like. MENTIONED and it comes up a little but nothing happens. Just a crush/friendship)

A few days passed, and still Yuri was like a ghost. 

He didn’t skate, didn’t talk, barely ate, and Victor was worried. He and Yuuri still took turns watching over him while the other was at work, but there had been no progress. Yuuri began to spend a few nights out of the week at the apartment when Victor had declared that the driving situation was just too unsafe, but it barely brought around a change in their dynamic. 

Each night, Victor listened from his bed as Yuri crept around the house until he found a place to sit for a few hours. He stayed there until he got tired, and then went back to his bed like nothing had happened. Victor had since found him in front of the window, on the kitchen counter, and on the fire escape, each time with the stuffed tiger in his arms.

The one thing that did change, though, was his interest in his phone again. More and more often, Victor found his brother curled up somewhere with his phone in hand, fingers flying as he texted. When asked who he was texting, Yuri responded with only a shrug.

“He’s probably just texting his friends.” Yuuri laughed when Victor had asked him about it. “He’s a teenager. He’s got friends.”

“I know that.” Victor rolled his eyes. “I’m not good at being a guardian.” It was a worry that had been bothering him more and more often lately, one he didn't care for one bit.

Yuuri kissed his forehead. “I think you’re doing great.”

It wasn’t until Victor accidentally saw “Beka” on Yuri’s phone that he actually started to get worried. 

“Beka. That could be Otabek, right?”

He and Yuuri lay sprawled across Victor’s bed, each reading their own books and enjoying the company of the other being nearby. Victor had actually bought a couple books on teen parenting and was in the process of absorbing as much information as he could.

Yuuri laughed softly and didn’t put his book down. “That is a nickname that he can go by, yes.”

“Oh god,” Victor moaned, dropping his own book onto his chest and covering his eyes with his hand. “Oh god, he’s texting an adult. Otabek is an adult.” He shifted and rolled over on the bed until his face was buried in Yuuri’s stomach. He felt the other man laugh and gentle hands settled in his hair.

“Otabek is a very respectful young man. And he's barely an adult. I know you're worried, but I've known that boy since he could walk and I’ve told you before, he will do nothing to harm Yuri.” Yuuri was very good at calming Victor’s nerves. “Besides, it’s only a crush. Yuri is young.”

“Which is why he shouldn’t be texting that——”

“Vitya,” Yuuri scolded gently, and Victor calmed down. He couldn’t resist pet names. “I mean to say, that Yuri is young. Of course he’s going to have crushes on cute, older boys.”

“Did you?”

Although he couldn’t see Yuuri’s face, Victor imagined a blush forming there. “Of course. Didn’t you?”

Victor grumbled out a ‘yes’ into Yuuri’s stomach, which caused another laugh. 

“Do you trust Yuri?”

“Of course.”

“We can talk to Otabek if you’d like. Ask him what his intentions are with our boy.” There was amusement laced in Yuuri’s tone, but Victor’s mind was trapped on the words “Our Boy”. Did Yuuri think of Yuri as his? The warm feeling that filled up Victor’s chest assured him that he liked that idea.

“They’re still kids, Vitya.” Yuuri said softly, his hands still running through Victor’s hair, “I’m pretty sure if we knew each other back then, we would have been the same.”

Victor smiled at that thought, pressing a kiss to Yuuri’s stomach and rolling over to look him in the eyes. “Would you be interested in me? I was a pretty annoying teenager.”

Laughing quietly, Yuuri leaned over to kiss his forehead. “I don’t think I was a teenager yet when you were Yuri’s age.”

Victor shrugged, “Well good thing we’re both adults now. I don’t think I’d be able to stand it if I couldn’t be with you.”

“Hmmmm, me too.” Yuuri closed his eyes, tipping his head back to lean against the headboard. “And to go back on the subject of Yuri and Otabek, if he’s going to have crush on anyone, at least it’s someone we know.”

“I guess.” Victor complained, “But if anything happens——anything——I reserve the right to drop kick that kid all the way across the country.”

*****

Although he still didn’t trust Otabek, Victor couldn’t help but watch fondly as Yuri’s phone lit up with a text and the teenager smiled down at it. 

He made a mental note to talk to Otabek when he had a chance, maybe scare him with a “If your hurt my brother” sort of threat, but for the moment, he was making Yuri smile.

*****

Yuuri proposed a distraction day, and Victor jumped on board.

It was the day before the funeral and the house was in a state of perpetual gloom. It was quiet, words spoken in whispers and dishes set down with a gentleness that hadn’t existed in the house for years. It was driving Victor insane, but out of respect for Yuri, he had stayed quiet as well.

When Yuuri made it clear that he was forcing the two of them to go ice skating with him, there was little that either of them could do to deter him from the idea. Not that Victor minded much, but Yuri dragged his feet all the way to the car.

Victor put on one of Yuri’s favorite playlists in the car ride over, occasionally watching his brother nodding his head along to the music in the rear view mirror. It wasn’t much, but it was something. 

At the ice rink, Yuri left the two of them behind when they spent a few moments too long with their own skates and they paused for a moment to let him skate alone for a moment. With a small pang of regret, Victor realized that he hadn’t seen Yuri skate since they had been separated.

The kid was good, impressive to the point that Victor’s eyes started tearing up with pride. Yuuri sat with him and their laced up skates as they watched Yuri for a few minutes, letting him enjoy the mostly empty ice rink without them.

“He’s grown up, Yuuri.” Victor whispered, and Yuuri nodded. “When I taught him how to skate when we were little, he was so scared of falling.” He laughed softly, “He wouldn’t let go of my hand.” They watched as Yuri threw himself into a jump, his landing perfect. “He’s all grown up.”

“He still needs you, Vitya.” Yuuri reminded him, leading him onto the ice. “And you need him, still.” 

Victor could skate and he himself could say that he wasn’t quite bad at it, but watching Yuuri and Yuri skating filled him with such pride. They were good, incredible even, and pride and affection filled his heart as he watched them. When he voiced his pride to the two of them, Yuri only scowled and blushed, but Yuuri thanked him with a kiss that had Yuri skating away at top speed. 

The relationship between Victor and Yuuri was unsure still, but Victor didn’t mind. They held hands, they kissed, they occasionally fell asleep watching a movie together, but there was no label yet. Whatever they were, Victor liked it and didn’t complain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING!!! ya'll. Your comments are so nice. I thought this fic was dead in the water when i came back to it but some people are actually interested???? thank you???? you're all such sweet people!! I hope you have a nice day!!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no concept of time, is this late???? anyway, ENJOY!!

Victor was surprised to see Yuri up and about at 6 in the morning on the day of the funeral.

“Sleep well?”

Yuri shook his head and headed towards the almost full coffee pot. He poured an obscene amount of coffee into his mug and sat down heavily at the table across from Victor.

“I didn’t know you drink coffee.” Victor observed, not quite able to muster a full smile over his own mug. 

“I don’t.” Yuri shrugged and went for a long sip. Immediately, he pulled a face. “Why the fuck do you drink this crap?”

“You’re drinking it black.” Victor pointed out, “Here.” He grabbed the half and half and sugar from the counter and placed it in front of Yuri. “This will make it taste better.” When he noticed how Yuri watched the additions with a wary eye, he couldn’t help a laugh a little. “Do you want help?”

Rolling his eyes, Yuri shrugged. “Whatever.”

Victor made the coffee the same way he made his own, sweet enough to barely count as coffee. It made Yuuri sick to watch Victor dump all that sugar into his mug, but it wasn’t like he was going to drink it black. Black coffee tasted like dirt.

“Better?” He sat back as Yuri took a sip.

Yuri nodded, settling back in his chair with his mug cupped in his hands. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“At all?”

“Nope.”

“You could have come to me.” Victor offered, hesitant. “I didn’t sleep much last night either.”

A loud yawn came from behind them as Yuuri came out of Victor’s bedroom, still in his pajamas that he had begun to bring when he came over. “Mornin’” He mumbled, and Victor grabbed another mug to make a cup of coffee for him as well. “Oh. Hey, Yurio.”

“Pig.” Yuri greeted, and Yuuri smiled.

They didn’t talk about what the rest of the day had planned for them, only muttered to each other over their mugs about shallow interests. Yuri talked more than he had for weeks, even though it wasn’t anything important. It had both Victor and Yuuri sending each other soft smiles as they listened to Yuri’s annoyed ranting. 

“What time do we have to leave?” Yuuri finally asked, and just like that, the quiet, almost content feeling in the room was gone.

“We have three hours.” Victor told his empty coffee cup, “We’re heading straight to the church.”

Yuuri nodded. “My clothes are at home. I’ll meet you two there?”

Yuri looked hesitant about letting Yuuri leave, but he nodded anyway. “Don’t be late.” He grumbled, dropping his mug in the sink and heading to his room.

Victor sighed. “He really wants you there.”

“I’m not going to skip out on him.” Yuuri placed his hands on Victor’s shoulders and dropped a kiss to the top of his head. “Of course I’m going to be there.”

“I know.” Victor grabbed one of Yuuri’s hands and kissed the back of it. “I’m going to give him an old suit of mine to wear. I don’t think he has anything else.”

“Good idea.” Yuuri sighed softly, “I need to get going.”

“Are you spending the night here tonight?” Please say yes, please say yes.

“I think it would be best if I did. I don’t know how Yuri will be afterward.”

Thank God.

With a final kiss, Yuuri left the apartment and Victor went to talk to his brother.

“Yuri?” He knocked gently on the door of Yuri’s room, “Can I come in?”

“Yeah.”

He opened the door to see Yuri casually flipping his phone over in his hands, looking nervous. 

“Hey.” Victor sat down on Yuri’s bed beside him. “How are you holding up?”

Yuri chewed on his lip, “How do you think?”

“Yeah.” Victor nodded, “That’s fair.” He played with a frayed edge of Yuri’s quilt. “Do you have something to wear?”

Yuri went red. “I can find something.”

“Do you want to borrow a suit? I have some that might fit you.”

Yuri’s eyebrows went up. “Really?”

*****

Victor’s heart hurt as he sat on the couch, waiting for Yuri to try on the suit. 

He had given his brother an old suit that had stayed in the back of his closet for years, and as much as he loved the idea of seeing his brother all grown up, he hated that it was only because of a funeral that it was happening.

He absently pet Potya as he waited to see Yuri. He had come to love the cat, although not nearly as much as Yuri did. She was a sort of therapy animal for Yuri, Victor guessed. She followed Yuri around the house wherever he went and would lay down beside him to get pet, which in turn, greatly calmed Yuri down. 

“You’re doing a better job being there for him than I am.” Victor sadly told the cat, who only watched him. “You should——”

“Are you talking to my cat?” Yuri stood watching Victor from the doorway, eyebrows up and dressed in Victor’s suit. “I thought you didn’t like her.”

“The suit fits?”

Yuri nodded. “Admit that you like her.” He was adamant.

Laughing softly, Victor allowed himself to focus on the familiar pushiness that he had grown to love. “Alright, alright, she’s not terrible.”

“Not good enough.” Yuri had his eyes narrowed at him, but a ghost of a smile played on his lips. “Say that you like her.”

“Okay then,” Victor straighted and turned towards the cat. “Potya? I like you.”

Yuri snorted and went to pick up the cat. “She still likes me best.”

“I don’t doubt that.” Victor looked Yuri up and down. “You look good.”

Yuri shrugged, “Don’t wanna show up looking like a tramp.”

“No, I guess not.”

They sat on the couch and pet the cat and for a very brief moment, everything felt like it was okay.

*****

The brief moment ended and reality made itself known as Victor announced softly that it was time to get going.

Neither spoke on the ride over and when they parked the car, neither got out for a moment.

“There’s going to be a lot of attention on you.” Victor warned, “People are going to be asking you questions and talking to you a lot.”

“I’m not going to yell at them, old man.” There was no bite in his words. He only sounded tired.

“I know.” Victor allowed them to spend a few more minutes in the silence of the car before they got out and entered the church.

It wasn’t full, which made Victor’s heart ache. There was a sizable group of blond people who looked a lot like Yuri, but Yuri made no move to even make eye contact with them. He didn’t even look up from his feet until they reached the front pew, and that was only to make sure he didn’t fall as he sat down.

It was cold in the church, but Victor wasn’t sure if it was just the temperature or the cold feeling of barely knowing the deceased and still sitting in the front row. 

Yuuri slid in beside Yuri a few minutes later, wrapping his arm around the teenager’s shoulders and kissing his forehead. “Alright?” Victor heard him whisper, and Yuri nodded, allowing the hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALMOST DONE Y'ALL!!!! Thanks for continuing to read my nonsense :)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LAST (official) CHAPTER!!! I got an epilogue after this but we're pretty much all done!! Enjoy :)

At the cemetery, Yuri didn’t cry. 

When Victor’s parents hugged him, when friends offered their condolences, even when Otabek wrapped him up in his arms from the moment they saw each other.

He was just…quiet. 

When they had arrived, Victor had seen Otabek standing around at the grave site, obviously uncomfortable and he narrowed his eyes. He shouldn’t be here. But when he saw the way that Yuri fell into his arms when they got close enough, he let it go. 

He managed to smile a little at Otabek over Yuri’s head, hoping that he would get the ‘thank you’ vibes that he was sending. 

It was a hard funeral to get through, mostly because almost no one knew each other except for Yuri. Friends of his stood off to the side and friends of Nikolai stood away from them. Victor’s parents stayed near Victor and Yuuri, and Mila and Otabek stood nearby. He didn’t say anything, only bowed his head during the prayers and kept an eye on Yuri, who stood beside him. 

Strangers said nice things and Victor felt guilt fill his heart when he remembered how much he used to hate the man. For so many years, he had blamed all his anger on him, using him as an excuse to be mad. He wasn’t one of the people who stepped forward to say something nice about Nikolai, but he said a silent apology to the man all the same. 

I’ll take care of him, Nikolai. I promise. 

It was a promise that he knew that he would never break.

When it was finally Yuri’s turn to talk, he reached out a hand and took Otabek’s causing the older boy to blush. Yuri stood tall, his face a mask of unfeeling and his chin up and proud. This was not the little kid that Victor had lost all those years ago. This was someone who had grown up, and Victor could not be more proud of him.

“I don’t think my grandfather was the man that any of you thought that he was.” Yuri was quiet, but there was no one daring to speak over him. His voice floated along with the breeze, reminding the gathered group of mourners that they stood alone. “I think he was so much better than you could have ever imagined.”

Words like “Love” and “Trust” and “Unconditional” surrounded the group, bringing about tears and hurt and love and regret. Sorrow for not knowing the man, guilt for hating him, thankfulness that he had been in their lives. It was hard to listen without shedding a tear, but Yuri didn’t cry once. 

He stood beside his grandfather’s grave, words of love pouring from his emotionless lips, bringing about the feelings that he didn’t show off. 

When he finished, there were no dry eyes, not even from the people who barely knew the man. Yuri didn’t cry, but he crumbled a little bit. The last words left his mouth and he let go of Otabek’s hand and threw himself into Victor’s arms.

“I’ve got you, Yura.” Victor whispered, “That was beautiful, I’m so proud of you.” He whispered nonsense to his brother, keeping his arms tight around him. “I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.”

By the time he was ready to leave Victor’s arms, most of the mourners were gone. A few friends offered their condolences and Victor’s parents managed to get in a few last hugs and words of comfort. Otabek held Yuri’s hand and hugged him hard before heading out.

“I want to stay for a little bit.” Yuri said, and his voice sounded alone. 

“Okay.” Victor agreed. He didn’t leave. He knew that Yuri didn’t want him to. Gently taking his brother’s hand, he stood beside him in silence. Glancing over, he watched as Yuuri did the same on the other side.

“I don’t want to let him go.” Yuri sounded lost and Victor wished he could find him. “I don’t ever want to let him go.”

They stood together, holding hands and not crying.

*****

Yuri had sat down on the couch when they got home and hadn’t moved. 

Both Victor and Yuuri eyed him from the kitchen as they began dinner, barely speaking as they cut and sliced and cooked. 

“He hasn’t moved.” Victor was worried. After they had left the cemetery, Yuri hadn’t spoken a word. It worried both Victor and Yuuri, but they didn’t crowd him. Only stood back and watched with worry as he sat and pet the cat, staring off into space. 

“Let him be.” Yuuri whispered back, placing a reassuring hand on Victor’s arm. “He needs to be alone right now. Let him come to us when he needs it.”

Victor didn’t like the plan, but he didn’t go against Yuuri’s advice. Yuuri seemed to be right a lot, and he had learned not to question it.

As they cooked, Yuri got up and went to sit in front of the large window and it was only moments before Potya left the couch to join him. It made Victor smile, despite the situation.

“When I first moved in with my grandpa, I had nightmares.” 

The words were so soft that for a moment, Victor thought that he’d imagined them. A glance at Yuuri showed that he had not. “What?”

“They were about losing you and your family.” Yuri continued to speak, but didn’t turn around to face them.

The burner was off and the utensils were set down and Victor and Yuuri went to sit beside Yuri on the carpet. 

“I would wake up every night screaming and he was there, right there, ready to take care of me.” There was no emotion behind the words, only a blank gaze out the window and the repeated petting of the cat. “And I didn’t let him. I would yell at him to leave me alone and to go away, because all I wanted was to be back with you and your family. It would take a long time for me to calm down.” 

Victor’s heart hurt.

“But he never left. He would wait until I stopped yelling at him and he would bring me hot chocolate and sit on the chair in my room and read me Harry Potter until I fell asleep again.” Yuri swallowed hard and Victor wondered when he’d break. It had to happen eventually, right? “I used to hate him so much for taking me away from you, you know.” He picked at the carpet with his free hand, not meeting Victor or Yuuri’s eyes. “I would yell at him and fight about everything I could. I thought I hated him. I don’t think a day went by without us getting into a fight, even if it was something small, like what we were having for dinner. It didn’t feel right to call him Grandpa anymore, not like it had been when I first met him.”

He was quiet for a few moments, and Victor wondered if he was done talking.

“Then I had a nightmare about losing him.” Yuri’s hand stopped petting Potya. “And I woke up screaming for him instead of you.”

Victor shoved down the part of him that was hurt. It didn’t matter. What mattered was Yuri’s feelings and thoughts that he was pouring out for Victor and Yuuri to see. 

“And he was there with a cup of hot chocolate and Harry Potter and it was like something changed.”

Victor and Yuuri exchanged glanced over Yuri’s head, but they kept quiet and let the teenager talk.

But he didn’t. He sat still and pet the cat and looked out the window. 

“Yuri——”

“He was diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia a few months ago.”

Silence crept up on them and stayed for a few minutes. Waiting.

“He didn’t tell me until recently, I think because he wanted to shield me from it for as long as he could.” Yuri picked at the carpet. “He didn’t want to do chemo or anything, just wanted to stay home with me.”

“Yurachka…”

“I don’t think he thought about me. About what would happen to me if he…”

“He loved you, Yuri.” Yuuri whispered, not reaching out to touch the teenager. The kid looked tense enough as it was. “He really did.”

Yuri shrugged, “I know that.” He paused for a moment, thinking over his response. Victor wondered briefly if the carpet would be worn thin where Yuri was picking at it. “Cancer hurts, right? A lot? Like, when you die?”

Victor frowned, but nodded. 

Yuri sighed, “Do you think I’m a bad person because I’m grateful that he didn’t have to go through that?”

“Ohhhh, no Yura, no!” Victor scooted closer and wrapped his arm around Yuri’s shoulders, “You’re not a bad person. You’re a very good person, I promise!” He stayed close to his brother, resting his chin on top of his head and fighting back tears. “You’re a good person.” He caught Yuuri’s eyes from over Yuri’s head and fought back more tears.

There they were, sitting on the floor and being together and Victor’s heart felt full and ready to burst with the amount of love that he had for the two of them.

Yuri leaned into Victor’s side, allowing himself to be held. 

“I got a cat, like he said I could.” Yuri whispered, and Victor wanted to laugh. His brother had been so excited about that. “She had kittens and I kept Potya.”

Yuuri and Victor sat still, staying close to Yuri as he told story after story, letting him get everything out in the open.

“We went to the zoo and looked at the tigers for two and a half hours.”

“He took me ice skating a lot.”

“We watched old Russian movies and made up stories when the subtitles didn’t work.”

Victor cried as he listened to his brother grow up, devastated that he had missed it, but elated that the life was everything that he had wanted for Yuri. He had had a good life, just as Victor’s parents had assured him he would, and he wished he could go back in time and tell his younger self that Yuri would be just fine.

He was so busy in his thoughts that he didn’t notice that Yuri had stopped talking until he felt the unmistakable shaking of tears against his chest.

“I love him so much, Victor.”

Love. Not loved. 

No one corrected him.

“And I miss him, and I want him back, fuck!” He broke off, out of breath, “I just want my grandpa back!”

The tears fell and it was like everything that had built up inside him for weeks just came out all at once. Shaking sobs wracked his entire frame and he could barely talk through the tears. Just the repeated “I miss him, I want him back” over and over again. 

Victor cried when Yuuri wrapped his arms around the both of them. 

Yuuri cried to see the man that he loved in tears.

Yuri cried because of love and loss and reassurance and pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we're almost done which is hella exciting! I can start something new (*cough* better *cough*) and maybe try out a new pairing? Anyway, pls leave comment? I like reading your thoughts :) Have a nice day!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LAST CHAPTER Y'ALL!!!

“Okay, but what if he’s upset by it?” Victor frantically chopped the carrot in front of him, the strokes getting increasingly more forceful. “You know how he hates being treated like a child.”

From the kitchen table, Yuuri laughed and Victor felt his worries ease. “Vitya, how is this treating him like a child?”

“Because what if he sees it as us seeing him as a child? What if he thinks we don’t trust him? Or that we’re being too protective?” The worries that usually stayed as background thoughts were coming back as words and he didn’t like it one bit. “Yuuri, what if he hates me for it?” That was the worst thought.

Sighing and shaking his head, Yuuri got up from the table and shooed Victor away from the food, “You’re messing it up with your worry. Go sit down.”

Victor hopped up on the counter instead, still worrying. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this today.”

“Relax, my love.” Yuuri intertwined their hands, kissing both his and Victor’s matching rings. “Everything will work out. You’ll see.”

With a sigh, Victor let Yuuri take charge of the cooking while he sat on the counter, content to just be beside the man he loved. 

When the front door opened and sounds of excitement came from the front room, they exchanged nervous grins of excitement. 

“Makkachin chased a squirrel and almost ripped my arm off!” Yuri announced as he entered the kitchen, throwing himself down on the chair that Yuuri had recently vacated. “I swear, she thinks she’s still a puppy.”

“You still act like a child,” Victor teased, grinning at the annoyed scowl that was sent his way. “One would think that the two of you would get along wonderfully.”

“You’re one to talk.” He grumbled back and both Victor and Yuuri laughed. 

Leaving the food for a moment, Yuuri crossed the kitchen and dropped a kiss on the top of Yuri’s head. “Happy Birthday, by the way.”

“Happy Birthday Yurachka!” Victor grinned, hopping down from the counter to kiss Yuri’s cheek.

“You guys are disgusting.” Yuri told them, but he was smiling. It was small, but it was definitely there.

Victor’s eyes caught on the necklace that Yuri wore, frowning for a second. That was new. As stealthily as he could manage, he eyed the new piece of jewelry, noticing the tiny tiger and bear prints that were stamped onto it.

He pulled in a deep breath, forcing himself not to say anything. Yuri was growing up, and he was old enough to make his own decisions. He knew that Yuri and Otabek had gone out on a few dates, and that their friendship had been a thing for even longer, but he still felt a little twinge of sadness when he realized that his brother was indeed growing up. 

“So what’d you guys get me?” Yuri looked far too excited. When Victor and Yuuri exchanged worried glances, he rolled his eyes, “Don’t even try that ‘we forgot to get you something’ trick again, it doesn’t work. Besides,” He wiggled his eyebrows, “You can’t resist buying me stuff.”

He wasn’t wrong, and Victor felt momentarily attacked by the comment.

“Yuri, we didn’t forget.” Yuuri looked a lot more put together than Victor felt. “Here, lets go sit on the couch.”

Yuri eyed him, “I don’t think I’m liking this.”

“Yura, come on.” Victor mustered a smile, even though his mind was a panicked mess of nerves. “It’s a surprise. Kind of a part of your gift.”

“Oh.” That seemed to satisfy the teenager and he stood up, “This better be good.”

They settled down on the couch, Yuri squished between the two of them.

“Victor?” Yuuri nodded to him, keeping his thoughts on track.

“Right, right.” He pulled in a deep breath and turned to face a very concerned looking Yuri. “Okay, I’m going to need you to close your eyes for this.”

“No?” Yuri looked offended, “What the fuck are you planning on doing?”

“Language.” Yuuri reminded, but he didn’t look like he cared all that much. 

“Please.” Victor begged, “It’s a surprise.”

At the pitiful tone in Victor’s voice, Yuri sighed and closed his eyes.

“No peeking.” Victor reminded.

“Alright, alright, calm down, I won’t.” He was looking vaguely annoyed, but there was an air of excitement in his tone that had Victor’s nerves settling down a little. 

“Okay.” Victor reached to the stack of books they kept on the coffee table and pulled out a few pieces of paper from in between the pages of one of them. God, he was nervous. “Here.” He placed them into Yuri’s open hands, glancing up to meet Yuuri’s excited gaze as he did so. “Open your eyes.”

Yuri looked down at the paper and was silent. 

He must have read what they said by now, right? 

“Yu——”

“You want to adopt me?” Yuri didn’t look up from the paper.

Victor swallowed hard. “Well…yes.” He looked up at Yuuri who was now looking nervous as well. “We’d like to adopt you. Even though you’re 18 now and technically an adult and this is all kind of…redundant. I mean, we’ve only ever been about a step above foster parents to you in the eyes of the law.”

“And I know that Victor and I aren’t married——” 

“Yet.” Victor interrupted Yuuri.

“Yet.” Yuuri amended with a smile, “But I hope you see me as a somewhat parental figure? I love you, Yuri, we both do.”

“And we want you to be an official part of our family. You, me, and Yuuri.” He paused for a moment. “And Makka and Potya.”

There was silence for a few moments before the papers were dropped and both Yuuri and Victor found themselves pulled together as Yuri attempted to hug the both of them at once.

“Please,” Yuri was saying, “Please, I want this, I want all of this.” 

“It’s yours.” Yuuri smiled, pulling the three of them tighter together. “All yours.”

And they were laughing and they were crying and they were happy and they were together and it was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's a wrap!! All done!! 15/15!!! Thank you to anyone who read this far and left those lovely comments and/or read from the beginning. I probably would have left this to fade away if it weren't for you so thank youuuuuuu!! :) We'll see what I end up writing next lmao peace out y'all

**Author's Note:**

> Ooooooo a mysterious(?) beginning. I would love to hear what you think in the comments!! It's nice to know that the story isn't hated by the first chapter lmao.  
> Anyway, this is not Beta read bc guess what? I don't have a beta lol so if anyone is interested in helping out, please let me know! Honestly I could use all the help I can get :D  
> If you'd like to drop by and say hello on tumblr (@attemptingauthor) it would probably make my day  
> Hopefully see you next week!


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